


Right Reasons

by purpleeyesandbowties



Category: The Adventure Zone (Podcast)
Genre: Alternate Universe- Human, F/F, Fluff, M/M, alternate universe- the bachelorette, if you'd like a fast paced romp through fantasy bachelorette this is the fic for you, the bachelorette au no one asked for but that i had to write, there's a lot of characters but those are the main ones, there's a tiny bit of lup/barry in this also
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2017-05-26
Updated: 2017-06-25
Packaged: 2018-11-05 00:05:41
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 6
Words: 23,273
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/11001801
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/purpleeyesandbowties/pseuds/purpleeyesandbowties
Summary: Carey is the closeted Bachelorette just doing her best to get through filming so she can escape her suffocating home life, but a gorgeous camera-woman might just turn this from the worst experience of her life to the best one.Taako is on the show for entirely the wrong reasons, but hey, a few months of good food and hot guys doesn't sound like the worst way to get a second crack at the limelight.





	1. The Final Five

**Author's Note:**

> Thanks to my excellent betas, sasha @weresehlat and gillian @thebabyvoidfish! the whole fic is written and i'll try to post a chapter a week as edits get done. i've only seen like 2 episodes of the bachelorette so any blatant changes from the source show are because this is now Fantasy Bachelorette i guess

In the end, Taako would say that he was there because he missed being on TV. That was it. That was the only reason he applied to be on the show. He figured he’d make a big splash or two before getting eliminated—pretending to be straight for more than a few episodes would be fucking exhausting anyway, even for a fantastic actor such as himself. He’d get a few weeks of gourmet food, free travel, and hot guys to ogle at. And most importantly—he’d get a second shot at the limelight. 

A few weeks, three or four episodes at the most. By then he’d be bored and itching to leave, or would have annoyed the poor girl he was pretending to woo into dismissing him. By then he’d have a show deal in hand from some desperate producer or another. Taako was irresistible as a TV personality, and the fuckwad who had gotten him kicked off _Sizzle It Up_ would rue the day he tried to frame Taako for the rash of food poisoning that followed one of his live performances. He’d get his show back, and _The Bachelorette_ was the perfect opportunity to remind the TV world of the star they’d forgotten. All it would take was a few episodes.

But here he was, two months into filming, and one of the final five contestants. Somehow.

\--

Taako groaned as his alarm went off, tossing his pillow at it without bothering to look. The pillow landed with a soft thud and a quiet ‘oof,’ and the alarm continued to blare. Taako yawned and sat up, running a hand through his impossible bedhead, only succeeding in making it stand up further.

“Hey, my dude,” he said to Kravitz, holding his hand out for the pillow. Kravitz didn’t look terribly pleased to have been hit in the face with a pillow, but he handed it back easily. Taako promptly stuck it under his head again and flopped down. Two seconds later, Kravitz reached down and snatched it back.

“Wake up, Taako,” he said. “You’re already late. Everyone else is downstairs. Carey wants to have breakfast with the guys.”

Taako was about to smile and deliver a quip about a better way to spend breakfast, but from the corner of his eye, he noted the camera-woman standing by the door, trying to blend into the wallpaper. Given that she was six feet tall, two hundred pounds of muscle, and holding a bigass camera, she was largely unsuccessful in her efforts. 

Taako sighed. There was never more than a moment without the camera crew around, which meant he had very little opportunity to hit on the extremely hot guy he’d been dropping hints at since the first day of filming. He thought, maybe, that if he ever did manage to find a moment truly alone with him, Kravitz might do more than just subtly return his innuendos. He’d caught him staring a few times, just about as often as he’d been caught himself. So there was hope, and just enough to keep Taako interested.

Taako slid out of bed dutifully, cracking every bone in his spine just to see Kravitz cringe. 

“You know that’s terrible for your back.”

“Yeah, I get it doctor-man,” Taako groused at him. Under the pretense of stretching, he leaned closer and muttered, “Maybe you’d like to examine me more fully later just to make sure.”

Kravitz spluttered and coughed, face going red.Taako smacked Kravitz on the back playfully, pleased he’d gotten such a good reaction out of him.

“Don’t choke, my man,” he said cheerfully. 

“I’m not that kind of doctor. And I’m fine,” Kravitz managed. Then, mischievously, he added in a mumble, “You’d have to give me something to choke on, first.”

This time, Taako was the one left blushing, as Kravitz swiftly exited the room. Sneaky bastard even managed a wink on his way out.

Taako, face still hot, glanced at the camera women to see if she’d caught any of that exchange. It wasn’t that he _minded_ if the audience knew he had the hots for Kravitz (who wouldn’t, honestly?), but if they found out he was gay, that might be the end of his reality TV stint. And that would be the end of clandestine flirting with a certain tall, dark, and handsome man. Which would actually be the more distressing of the two outcomes, Taako noted with interest.

But, to Taako’s surprise, the woman had one hand over the camera lens. Taako raised a curious eyebrow at her. She smiled widely and gave him a thumbs up. “Don’t worry,” she whispered. “You’re good around me. I won’t let anything make the final cut that you don’t want.”

“Why?” Taako asked suspiciously. He squared up, walking up close enough to look her directly in the eyes. Never mind that she had half a foot on him and he was only clad in a thin nightshirt and one fuzzy sock. He’d never talked to this crew member before—as their best camera operator, she was usually busy tailing the lady of the house—and Taako didn’t trust easily. Not on this show, where they squeezed out every drop of drama they could, and manufactured it where they couldn’t.

She coughed nervously. “I, um, I got your back. We’re on the same team.”

He crossed his arms. “Don’t give me that shit, man. We’re not some big happy TV family, that’s not how this shit works.”

“No, no!” she said, shaking her head. “ _I’m_ on your _team_. I bat for your side? Or-or not your side, like if you’re playing baseball for the other team, I’m playing softball for the other team?”

Taako looked at her, confused, trying his best to convey, without tiresome words, that it was far too early for this riddle shit. She waved her free arm a little helplessly. “I’m gay, too.”

Oh.

“Oh, good, ‘cause I was worried you were trying to make a pass at my man.” 

“No! No, I’m…I’m in a relationship,” she said. She sounded proud and a little embarrassed and a lot excited. Taako eyed her. A new relationship then. She hadn’t had a chance to tell many people. _Young love. Adorable._

“Sweet. What’s she like?” he asked, moving to his closet and pulling on a pair of light green skinny jeans. He shook out a floral crop that was lying crumpled on the floor, decided it was clean enough, and put it on. The camera woman didn’t answer. When Taako looked over, she had a hand clapped over her eyes.

Taako snorted. “You can’t act modest now, babe. You’re on the crew of a show that thrives off immodesty.”

“That doesn’t mean I want to see you naked! And don’t call me _babe_. My name is Killian.” 

Taako walked over and pried her hand off her face to give it a quick shake.   
“Cool, I’m Taako. You can call me Taako. Let’s complain about straight people together sometime.”

With that, he left Killian to think of a way to explain her lack of footage, and went to find the other occupants of the house and the lady they were all here for.

\--

Taako was the last to arrive at the breakfast nook, Carey noted. Again. It was easy to tell who was missing at this point in the game. The large table that had once been big enough to hold 25 people was down to six, including Carey herself. Carey like her motley little crew very much. They were the best of the guys she’d had since the beginning of the season: Kravitz, good-natured and well-mannered, Johan the gentle-hearted musician, Barry, kind and nerdy, though he had a bit of chip on his shoulder, Magnus of course, her best friend, and Taako who always kept things unpredictable.

It didn’t bother her that much— she liked him well enough to forgive a little tardiness. He was funny and clever, if a bit crass sometimes. But Magnus had asked her to keep him on the show as long as possible, and since it didn’t really matter who she ended up with anyway, she didn’t mind. At least he had never tried to initiate physical contact or lavish her with compliments and/or bribes. Besides, he’d made a good impression on her during the first week. 

The first group date had been a trip to the gym where they’d all gotten a chance to try out her gymnastics routines. He’d surprised her by nailing a good half of the flips and jumps, and had surprising talent on the low-high bars. He asked a ton of questions about her career in gymnastics, and offered his own stories of taking lessons with his twin sister in their youth. 

So Taako held a small fond spot in her heart, even when he was late to every single group activity. 

She also noted with interest the way he picked the seat next to Kravitz and snuggled right up next to him, seemingly without thinking. And the way Kravitz seemed to make room for him, unsurprised by the way Taako was clinging to him.

_Kravitz_ was an interesting one. He was obviously walking through the steps of winning her over, but his heart didn’t seem in it. He was earnest and sweet and a perfect gentleman, but his eyes were always a little bit distant. He was an interesting conversationalist, though, so she kept him on. Again, he was one of the few men that didn’t look at her like she was a prize to be won, which won him _so many_ brownie points. Carey didn’t know much about show business, but he seemed like the kind of man the audience would die for—handsome, charismatic, smart, refined. And the happier the audience was, the happier the producers would be, which meant she could get through this as quickly and painlessly as possible.

Directly to her right was Magnus. He was sitting very close to her on the bench, one arm draped over the back in a very clear ‘back off, she’s mine’ gesture. She allowed it because she knew it was just an act. 

She and Magnus had been gym buddies for years now— though that title was probably outdated. They were closer to best friends if she was being honest. He knew she had been forced into this show and forced even further back in the closet, and that she wanted a buffer between her and the other guys in the house. And, most importantly, he wasn’t interested in her at all. But Magnus has a protective streak almost bigger than he was and he’d gotten it in his head that she needed protecting.

So far, they were the most promising couple in the director’s eyes, which meant he was probably safe to stay on the show. It wasn’t often that the higher ups basically ordered the bachelorette to boot someone off the show, but it also wasn’t unheard of. It was a huge relief to have someone in her corner on the other side of the camera. The fact that he was one of her best friends only made it better.

Carey thought she might take Magnus with her all the way to the final rose.

The other men of the house were more a matter of strategic shuffling to produce the most interesting dynamics within the house. Barry was the oldest man in the house, and almost a complete mystery, even after surviving twelve eliminations. Johann stayed on because his music was actually really good, and while he was a bit of a downer sometimes, he and Carey had had some really good conversations about theology and the universe. Carey hoped that if he would get some decent exposure for his underground band, _The Voidfish,_ while on the show.

Carey was friends with all the men in the house at this point. Sending more home this week would be difficult in a way the previous eliminations hadn’t been. She couldn’t imagine how hard it would be for a woman who wasn’t just faking those relationships.

The director of the show, a tall woman with short, curly grey hair and a nearly-magical ability to make reality television _good_ , was standing at the edge of the room. The camera crew was ready, it seemed, which meant that Carey’s leisurely breakfast with her friends was over and a day of pretending to flirt with them was only beginning. 

Lucretia was an old friend of the family. She knew that Carey was a lesbian and how little she wanted to be here. But she’d promised that if Carey did this show, she would do everything in her power to give Carey her freedom. That was a future Carey dreamed of every night since the show began, and one of the few things still keeping her sane.

Carey wasn’t the typical bachelorette between what some might politely refer to as her ‘unconventional beauty’ and her strict no-kissing policy. And her pool of candidates weren’t the type of guys typically seen on the show. Lucretia was taking a big chance on this season and she had been given an unprecedented amount of control over the season, acting as both producer and director. Carey felt the weight of carrying that success on her shoulders every second of filming, but the payoff would be well worth it.

Lucretia motioned her over to the edge of the room to discuss the plan for the day and the rest of the week: a one-on-one date with Magnus, and a two-on-one date with Barry and Johann, with several interviews in between. The rose ceremony would take place that Friday evening. Just another week on _The Bachelorette_.

“Thanks, Carey. You’ve been doing wonderfully. The audiences are going to love you,” Lucretia said. She hesitated, putting a careful hand on Carey’s shoulder. “How are you holding up?”

“I’m okay,” Carey said—and she meant it. It was exhausting, of course, but nothing she couldn’t handle. At least not when her perfect future was almost within reach. She thought of all the zeroes on the contract Lucretia presented her with months ago, and nodded decisively. “I’m good. Thank you, Lucretia.”

\--

While Carey and Magnus were on their one-on-one date—doing something athletic probably, Taako was glad to be left out of it—Kravtiz, Taako, and Johann lounged about in the common room, playing cards. Well, Kravitz and Johann were playing cards. Taako was _cheating_ cards. They were half a dozen games in and Taako’s pile of IOU slips was reaching an all-time high when a camera man knocked on the door frame.

“Taako. I need you.”

“Doesn’t everyone, darling?” Taako said loftily.

The camera man sighed. “I need you to _come with me_ for an in-the-moment.”

“What for?”

The man checked his clipboard. “Barry told you he doesn’t think you’re here for the right reasons. Or he will, in about thirty minutes after we get both your reactions.”

Ah, yes, the kind of manufactured drama that was the wind in the sails of this program. Taako stood up and stuck his marked cards in his pocket. No matter, he was a showman. Time to put on a show.

 

The makeup people touched up his (frankly, flawless) makeup and forced his hair into a neat braid before settling him down in a plush leather sofa.

“I have no idea why Barry Bluejeans said that,” Taako told the camera, eyebrow quirked as if he was annoyed. He, of course, didn’t know what Barry said to him, seeing as it hadn’t been said yet, but he pushed on. “Of _course_ I’m here for the right reasons. I’m here for the same reason he is—to win Carey’s heart. So unless his reason isn’t the ‘right one’I don’t know what to tell ya, man.”

He flicked the braid over his shoulder, unconcerned. “It doesn’t bother me. It was just a lame attempt to establish himself as a threat. He’s scared because he knows he’s going home and I’m not.”

Lucretia prompted him with a few more questions. The usual—how he was feeling about his chances with Carey, what he thought of the other guys in the house, how he felt about being skipped over for a date today. Taako gave his answers, piece of bullshittery fluff holding a grain of truth.

Finally, Lucretia nodded at him. “That’s fine. You can go rejoin the others.”

“Ah, soft pass on that one, ‘Cretia,” Taako said, knowing the nickname would annoy her. “I’d rather chill out here for a bit, you know? How’s Ango? He around?”

Lucretia pinched the bridge of her nose. “Yes, Angus is here. No, you may not play with him. You have to be in the house so that Barry can confront you and we can use all that footage we just shot.”

“Barry won’t be done for another twenty minutes. He’s not a TV professional—unlike myself. Come on, let me see my boy!” he wheedled. “He must get bored hanging around the crew all day with no one fun to talk to.”

The choice was taken out of Lucretia’s hands when a small boy ran (quietly) onto the set. He looked around, checking that the cameras weren’t rolling anymore, and grinned widely when he saw Taako.

“There’s the boy!” Taako said.

“Sir!” Angus exclaimed, running right for him and taking a flying leap into the leather couch. Taako caught him with a small huff of effort.

“You getting fat, little dude? You’re heavier than I remember.”

“Just a bit, sir! I just hit a growth spurt is all!”

Angus was ten years old, weirdly polite for his age, and shared his adopted mother’s love of shaping and recording stories. He’d be better suited to directing a fictional show some day than hanging around a reality TV show set (and so would his mother for that matter), but he insisted on coming with her. It was never too early to learn the tools of the trade, he insisted, the hardworking, brown-nosing little bastard. 

Taako loved him to pieces.

Angus reminded him of Lup, especially the Lup of their younger days. Smart, energetic, persistent as hell—Angus felt a lot like family, even though he’d only known him less than two months. Taako was thinking of kidnapping the little twerp after Carey finally sent him packing.

He stood up, hefting Angus onto his hip. The kid was far too big to carry that way, but Taako did it anyway.

“Taako,” Lucretia said as he started to walk off. 

“What?” he replied, looking over his shoulder. The director stared him down for a few seconds without speaking. Finally, she said, “Make sure you know what you’re doing. What you do in your own time—off screen—is your business and your right, but I’d hate to see you slip up and go home. Or worse, accidentally send someone else home instead.”

“You been talking to Killian?” Taako said.

Instead of answering that, she said, “Whatever you’re up to and whoever you’re up to it with, make sure…. the other party is okay with the consequences.”

Taako chewed on his lip for a moment before nodding.

“I’ll talk to him. Tonight. Can you get me some camera-less space?”

“I have no idea what you’re talking about.”

Taako snorted. “Figures.”

“Killian tells me the mics can’t pick up sound when the hot-tub jets are on. Besides, it’s looking cloudy. No good for lighting. We probably won’t shoot anything outside tonight.” Lucretia said conversationally, and waved him off the set without another word.

Lost in thought, Taako started walking back over to the common room. He almost forgot he was still carrying Angus until the kid asked, “Where are you taking me, sir? My mother doesn’t want me venturing too far away lest I see something not meant for little eyes.”

Taako smiled, shaking himself out of his funk. “Chill out, Angaroo. We’re going to the common room. Don't you wanna see Magnus? He should be back from his hot date with Carey by now.”

Angus immediately settled down. As much as Taako hated to admit it, he probably wasn’t Angus’ favorite contestant. That place of honor belonged to Magnus, who was broad and strong enough to be a human jungle gym and soft-hearted enough to play pretend with him as well. They were in the middle of some long-form fantasy game in which Magnus was a rogue fighter, bodyguard and best friend of Angus McDonald, boy detective. The game had been going on in bits and pieces for a month now, and they’d dragged everyone in the house into it as well. As far as Taako could tell, he was a wizard or maybe a kleptomaniac. Carey was some sort of lizard-warrior. He thought they’d cast Kravitz as a grim reaper, or at least as a skeleton. Honestly, Taako had trouble following the plot.

 

Unfortunately, play time was cut short soon after Angus and Taako arrived back in the common room. Barry slammed the door behind him, alerting everyone to his presence. Immediately, every camera swung from Magnus and Angus’ playful rough-housing to Barry’s approach. He looked pissed and ready to take it out on someone. Taako knew that Lucretia knew he was playing the game here, but Barry probably wasn’t. Whatever they’d told him in the in-the-moment interview had really struck a nerve with him. As excepted, he got right up in Taako’s face.

(Out of the corner of his eye, Taako saw Angus dutifully trot off-camera and stick close to his mother’s side. He pulled a notebook from her bag and a pen from his pocket, ready to take notes).

“Hey, man, what’s up?” Taako said. Barry stuck a finger right up in face and said, like he was delivering some kind of vengeful death sentence, “Taako, you’re not here for the right reasons!”

“Really? What reasons am I here for?” Taako responded carelessly. It only succeeded in riling Barry up more, but hey, that’s good TV.

“Attention? Fame? The chance to get back your flop of a cooking show? You sure as hell aren’t here for Carey, that’s for damn sure!”

Taako smiled, sugary sweet and laced with venom, refusing to break eye-contact with Barry.

“Last time I checked, sweetie, you were still all hung up on my sister, so what are _you_ doing here? No offense man, but we can all see through your pathetic attempts to get over her, and that’s obviously not working out for you. So why don’t you get the fuck out of my face.”

Into the sharp silence that descended on the room, Taako glanced behind him. “Sorry for swearing, Ango.”

A quiet, “It’s fine, sir,” came from Angus and Taako took that as his cue to leave. 

“I’m out, bitches. Be back for the rose ceremony,” he called over his shoulder. No one, not even Lucretia stopped him as he headed for the front door.

_Hey,_ Taako thought as the door swung closed behind him. _That’s just good TV._

\--

Carey watched in silent delight as Taako ripped Barry a new asshole in front of the whole house. She liked Barry as a person, she really did, but sometimes it felt like he went looking for a reason to fight with Taako. She’d wondered what bad blood was between them, and what exactly Taako’s sister had to do with it.

Taako stormed out, leaving Lucretia looking inexplicably pleased about something.

She spoke in hushed tones to her crew for a few minutes, no doubt planning how to spin this confrontation. Carey took that time to come into the room fully and flop down on the couch. Johann immediately approached her, asking what she thought of the fight, but they were immediately interrupted by Lucretia.

“Carey, you have an hour of free time before the next date. Just make sure you’re dressed and ready by 6:00.”

Carey jumped up immediately. 

“I’ll see you boys later!” she called and tried to stop herself from running for the stairs. Free time was a luxury when filming a TV show. Lucretia had gotten it as part of her contract that any free time she spent in her room would be camera-and-mic free, guaranteed. Those few hours snatched here and there were deeply cherished. Especially recently.

Right on cue, ten minutes after she’d locked her door behind her, four soft taps sounded on her door. She opened it, letting in the person standing outside, and locked it behind her again.

“I’m taking my break,” Killian said with a soft, dopey smile. Carey felt herself smile back, just as soft. “I’ve got the next half an hour.”

“Let’s make it count,” Carey said. She wrapped her arms around Killian, sighing happily and leaning her weight against her.

“I missed you,” she said quietly. She felt Killian nod, her chin resting on the top of Carey’s head.

“I missed you, too. I see you every day, all day, but I never get to talk to you. Or at least not like I _want_ to talk to you.”

Carey took Killian’s hand and led her across the room to sit on her bed. “I’m sorry. We’re halfway through. I just don’t want to see you—”

“Shush,” Killian said. Her hand cupped Carey’s cheek gently. “You’re worth it.”

Carey didn’t know what to say to that—the words just weren’t there. They’d only known each other two months. They’d been dating (officially, in secret) for just about a month and a half. It was too early to even put words to the thing she was feeling. Killian was….she was special. Everything about her was familiar and exciting at the same time. She made Carey feel warm and cared for, extraordinary just for existing in the same space. Killian was funny and beautiful, and, oh lord, she was _strong._

Carey didn’t think of herself as a shallow individual, but she thought maybe it had been Killian’s muscles she had first fallen in love with. Or at least gotten a crush on. As a former gymnast, Carey appreciated the beauty of strength in many different forms, and the combination of buff and soft Killian wore so nicely hit all her weak points. Add to that a dorky smile and great sense of humor, and no wonder Carey was a goner.

The fact that Killian was interested in _her_ sent her reeling.

They spent their half-hour talking, mostly. Carey lay on her side, one hand brushing through Killian’s hair as she talked—talked about the show, how ready she was to be done, the life she had planned for afterwards. Life when she could escape her family’s house of narrow-minded views and finally live by herself, out and proud and free. Or maybe not entirely by herself, she mused, trailing off on her sentence and smiling down at Killian. Killian noticed her smile and turned her head to kiss her palm. Carey continued her thought, saying, “Whoever I end up picking, I’ll break it off with them in a few months. Unless Lucretia requests otherwise, I’ll probably end up with Magnus.”

“Hmm,” Killian said in agreement. “He seems real nice. I like him.”

“Me too,” Carey said. She pushed herself up on her arms, looking down at Killian’s face. She traced the edge of her nose with one finger teasingly. “Not like I like you, though.”

Killian caught her hand and pressed her knuckles against her mouth. “Hmm, good.”

Carey kissed her. 

Kissing Killian was, perhaps, her favorite thing ever. She relished in the way their lips slotted together perfectly, the way Killian’s strong hands held her so carefully, like she was something precious. The soft sounds Killian made, the quiet sighs and little gasps. Carey loved it all. For a moment, nothing existed outside of the two of them. She could forget about the show, the stress, the crazy schedule and all those expectations, as long as she was here with Killian.

“How do you do that?” she asked, pressing the words against Killian’s mouth.

“Do what?”

“Make everything better. Just by being here with me?”

Killian’s hands slid from Carey’s shoulders to her waist, pulling her more securely against her own body as if to express something she couldn’t without words. They both sighed in contentment.

A soft beeping noise cut through the moment.

Killian sat up, gently disengaging herself from Carey, clicking off her watch alarm.

“My break’s over,” she said. She gave Carey a small smile and one more quick kiss.

“I’ll see you on-set tonight, baby. I’ll miss you.”

“Miss you, too,” Carey said as Killian made her way to the door. She followed Killian to the door, pressed her against it for one more kiss. 

“Till next time,” she said.

“Till next time,” Killian confirmed.


	2. The Right Reasons

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I'm updating sooner than i planned originally--this is my day off of work, so from now on, updates should come on Sundays. thanks again to my fantastic betas and special mention to emma @histskins, my personal cheerleader and motivator for this fic. <3   
> this chapter is a little shorter than the first but i hope you enjoy it anyway! it's a fluffy one :)

Taako returned to the set that evening. He snuck in the back door after sending a text to Lucretia to let her know he was back, no, he wasn’t quitting the show, and could she please stop blowing up his phone with increasingly angry voicemails.

‘ _it was for the drama(TM)’_ he sent her

‘ _If you try this again, I will fire you on the spot. I will tear up your contract in front of you and give it to Angus for his paper mache project’_ she sent back, less than five seconds later. Taako wondered if she was just that quick at typing, or if she already had that response prepared.

Whatever. He’d never fully understand their director. She was more interesting than anything this show could cook up, that was for sure. 

A quick once-over of the back patio told him that the pool area was, for once, deserted. He guessed the other guys were doing interviews or bonding time. Or still paying with Angus. Ether way, he was glad to have the space to himself. He was planning on finding Kravitz and having that talk he’d promised Lucretia, but first he wanted to get his mind in order. 

But as he approached the hot-tub, he realized the backyard wasn’t as deserted as he thought. Magnus was sitting in a tree on the edge of the property. He was high up there, tucked as neatly as he could in the branches. He looked down as Taako approached, but looked away just as quick. Taako could hear him breathing, heavier than normal and more than a little ragged. Taako’s forehead wrinkled in confusion—what could have upset Magnus so badly? He pulled out his phone to check for missed notifications from the director or one of the other guys, and saw the date.

_Oh, fuck._

It took close to five minutes, but Taako managed to make it up the tree to Magnus’ perch. The terrible blank look Taako had been afraid to see on Magnus’ face was thankfully replaced by something resembling amusement.

“You making fun of my tree-climbing abilities, my man?” Taako said, scooting next to Magnus and leaning against him to keep his balance.

“Who, me?” Magnus said. “Yes.”

“Thought so. Fuckin’ traitor.”

They sat in silence for a few moments. Finally, Taako sighed. 

“You cried yet today?”

“Nope,” Magnus said resolutely. 

“Do it. You’ll feel better.”

Magnus said nothing. 

“Mags. You’re allowed to cry for her. It’s been five years, now, but that doesn’t mean you have to be okay. Julia—”

As soon as Taako said her name, Magnus’ shoulders tensed, like he was expecting a physical blow to hit him. Taako pushed on. “Julia knew you, man. You may have everyone else fooled about being this big tough guy, but not her. She’d tell you it was okay to cry and to keep grieving her. As long as it takes. You don’t have to be okay yet.”

Magnus cleared his throat. “I know. I know, and I want to. But I’m trying so hard to be here for Carey. This whole thing just sucks so much for her because—well, you know. I’ve been so focused on this show and keeping Carey sane that I almost forgot that today is—God, how could I forget, Taako? I almost forgot to honor the day my wife died.”

That confession was enough to finally break whatever had been holding him back. Magnus’ huge shoulders shook silently, his face buried in his hands.

“Hell no, big guy. This ain’t a quiet cry. Let it out,” Taako said, patting Magnus on the back.

Magnus let out a short sob, the kind that made something painful clench in Taako’s chest just to hear. He’d heard that sound far too often from his best friend.

He swallowed back the lump in his own throat and continued to rub Magnus’ back.

They sat there in the tree for a long time, until Magnus gave one more sniff and uncurled from where he was tucked under Taako’s arm.

Before he could saying anything dumb like ‘thank you,’ Taako said, “Go on, leave. You got some heavy emotional shit to unpack and I’m all tapped out, my guy.”

Magnus nodded and jumped down from the tree. Taako called after him, “and if you run into a camera or something, find Killian and she’ll take care of it. We got an understanding.”

Magnus raised one hand in acknowledgment and kept going. The set of his shoulders was at once looser and heavier. The cry had helped, Taako was sure, to get the guilt out. Now that all that remained was grief.

Taako sighed, scrubbing a hand down his face.

From the shadows, a voice said, “Is he going to be alright?”

Taako yelped and almost lost his balance, only just managing to grab hold of the trunk to keep his perch.

“Fuck, man, I almost died!” he said, clambering down much more easily than than he’d climbed up.

“I apologize,” Kravitz said. “What was Magnus so upset about?”

“None of your fucking business,” Taako snapped, an instinct left over from the time leading up to Julia’s funeral, when everyone wanted to know the intimate details of Magnus’ emotional state. He took a deep breath, shaking it off. “Yes, he’ll be okay. Sorry. I’m not great at…talking about feelings.”

“Oh,” Kravitz said. “That’s what I was hoping to discuss, actually. Um. Feelings.”

Taako nodded tiredly. “I wanted to talk with you too, my man.” He walked over to the hot tub and flicked on the jets. 

“Perfect.”

Kravitz twisted his fingers nervously. “Um, I was hoping to talk somewhere….private.”

“Let me let you in on a little secret. This is the best place for a nice chat.” He lowered his voice, winking conspiratorially. “Mics can’t hear over the jets.”

Kravitz raised his eyebrows in understanding. “Well, it does seem like a beautiful night for a swim, doesn’t it?”

“Always, darling.”

Taako plopped himself down in the hot tub, popping the button on his skinny jeans to give himself a little room to breathe. A little chlorine and some hot water wouldn’t hurt them. Probably. They weren’t his favorite skinny jeans anyway.

Kravitz gingerly lowered himself into the water as well. Taako bit his lip at the sight—Kravitz in his button-down and pressed black slacks sitting, fully clothed and now sopping wet, in a hot tub. 

Kravitz glanced at him. “You’re laughing at me. I suppose I do look a bit silly, don’t I?”

“Yeah, but I’m digging it, for sure.” Taako raked his gaze down Kravitz’s chest, where the dress shirt had gone nearly translucent.

Kravitz looked down, bashful, which was frankly adorable. But he didn’t say anything, so Taako decided that was a sign he was supposed to speak first. 

“Oh, Krav, Krav, Krav. What are _you_ doing here, darling?”

“Hmm? What do you mean?”

“You heard my little spat with Bluepants earlier today. ‘The right reasons’ and all. Why are you here on this show?”

Kravitz nodded to himself, obviously gathering his thoughts. 

“I’ve always been…boring,” he started, and Taako had to restrain himself interrupting. “My whole life, I’ve done exactly what was expected of me. I went to college, went to graduate school, got a good job and a tidy apartment. I was so boring and I got so tired of _being_ boring. I applied to be on this show as a way to prove to myself that I _could_ do something unexpected. I guess you could call it some sort of delayed teenage rebellion. _Very_ delayed.”

“So, you’re saying that this is—what? Your fucking midlife crisis?”

Kravitz laughed. “I suppose it is. I didn’t expect to make the cut in any case. Not sure how that happened, actually.”

“I could have told you that. There’s no way they’d skip you over. This show always goes for the eye candy, handsome fella.” Taako tossed his hair. “That’s how I’m here, after all. Well, that and I’ve got a man on the inside.”

When Kravitz looked at him questioningly, Taako whispered, “Magnus. He’s good buddies with—the director,” he finished, lying as smoothly as he could. It didn’t matter how pretty of a face Krav had, telling another contestant that one of the suitors was real-life best friends with the bachelorette probably wasn’t the smartest thing to do. That kind of thing could get Mags kicked off the show and then _Taako_ would have to propose to Carey just to save her from the other men.

He looked over to Kravitz to see how well the lie had gone over, but Kravitz was studying his hands bashfully.

“You are as well, you know. Handsome, I mean.”

Taako threw him a set of finger guns, complete with a tongue click, refusing to acknowledge how much that little compliment flustered him. He’d had countless people tell him he was handsome, gorgeous, beautiful, but very few had been able to fluster him like Kravitz could. 

“To answer your earlier question,” Kravitz continued. “I suppose I’m not exactly here for the right reasons either.”

“What the hell even _are_ the right reasons? Everyone’s always going on about the _right reasons_ but no one ever says what they are,” Taako said in his best imitation of philosophical loftiness.

“I suppose the right reason is to find love. Isn’t that the whole point? To fall in love?” Kravitz answered seriously, his head tipped upward. He was studying the stars, just starting to peak out of the late evening sky. The watery blue light of the hot tub reflecting against his face made him look almost otherworldly. Fae, nearly, like he was a visitor from another world, something too grand and beautiful to be from this one. Taako studied how the light played against his dark brown skin, the beautiful column of his throat, the sharp cut of his profile against the night sky, the spill of his hair over his shoulders.

“Maybe I’m here for the right reasons after all,” Taako murmured, a little spellbound.

“You are?” Kravitz said, moving his gaze from the sky to Taako’s eyes. He looked away quickly, suddenly unable to meet his careful eyes.

“I might be falling in love. Just a little bit,” Taako admitted. They’d been dancing around this for months now. Little glances, subtle flirtations, the inexplicable attraction between them Taako knew he wasn’t making up.

“Oh,” Kravitz said. He sounded…disappointed. He cleared his throat. “Carey is a beautiful, enchanting woman.”

Taako blinked, losing the thread of the conversation. “Yeah, she is.”

“Well, then. I wish you luck winning her over,” Kravitz said and started to stand up.

“Wait, wait,” Taako said. He stood as well, grabbing the cuff of Kravitz’s sleeve. “Hold on, hold on. Carey is a beautiful woman, but like…she’s a _woman_. Not the kind of person I go for.”

Kravitz slowly sat down and Taako sat with him.

“Oh. You—you’re?”

“Gay as they come, sugar.”

“What are you doing on this show?” Kravitz asked, sounding genuinely bewildered. As was well within his rights. Taako would be the first to admit to that.

“Bluepants was pretty much right on track this morning,” Taako said, waving a hand. “I love attention, fame, and fraud.”

Kravitz shook his head. “No, that can’t be your only reason. You’re too…multifaceted for that.”

“What am I, a character for you to analyze?”

Kravitz raised his eyebrows, unimpressed at Taako’s attempt to avoid the question.

“Fine. I’m also here to keep an eye on Magnus. He’s really fucking important to me and, as you saw, he can get a little messed up. He needs someone here who gets him.”

Taako sighed, gazing at the stars himself now so he wouldn’t have to look at Kravitz.

“So he’s the one you’re falling in love with,” Kravitz said, like it was a logical conclusion.

“What? Mags? Ew, no, he’s like—he’s my brother, gross, no.”

“But,” Kravitz said, clearly baffled. “You said you were falling for someone. If not with Carey, and not with Magnus, then who? Barry?”

“Oh my god,” Taako said. “We’ve been flirting for the past _two months_ , dude!”

“Wh—me?”

“Yes, you! Oh my god, you are _so_ lucky you’re hot.”

Kravitz waved his hands a little in confusion. “You flirt with everyone, though. I thought that was just the way you were!”

“I flirt with everyone, but I don’t flirt with _intent_ like I do with you!”

“How the hell was I supposed to know that?” Kravitz demanded, just as Taako exclaimed, “You were flirting back!”

“Of course I was flirting back! You’re…God, you’re so far out of my league and you were just flirting _so much_ and I came here fully intending to fall for Carey, who, by the way, is exactly the kind of woman I’d love to love, but then you came in being _gorgeous_ and _charming_ and,” Kravitz stopped, flushing as his words caught up to him. “I mean—”

He stopped again. Without meaning to, their spirited conversation had brought them nose-to-nose. Taako’s eyes roamed over Kravitz’s face quickly—he’d never been this close to him before. He noticed the flecks of gold in Kravitz’s dark brown eyes and was immediately annoyed at himself for noticing and at Kravitz for having such beautiful fucking eyes. Surprise and frustration had brought a lovely color to Kravitz’s cheeks and made his eyes even brighter than normal. His full lips were parted slightly. And as soon as Taako noticed that, he was a goner. There was no other way this conversation could possibly end. 

Kravitz seemed to agree because they both moved in at the same time. Taako was surprised at how assertively Kravitz was in kissing him—he wasted no time in moving his tongue against Taako’s lips, and Taako opened his mouth readily to match him. 

And just like that, Taako’s confusion and frustration melted into something a hell of a lot more pleasant as the kiss grew softer and more forgiving. Kravitz’s grip on the sides of his face relaxed and slid down to his shoulders. Taako, for his part, found his hands securely on Kravitz’s hips.

After a minute, he disengaged. “I was not expecting tonight to go like this.”

“Me either,” Kravitz admitted, leaning his forehead against Taako’s.

“What were you expecting?” Taako asked. 

“I don’t know. I would tell you I was going to leave the show and I wanted to make sure you knew it was because of you.”

Taako frowned. “The fuck?”

Kravitz shook his head. “No, that’s not what I meant! I was developing feelings for you and I decided it was unfair to Carey to just stay here and pretend. But I wanted to let you know. You know, just in case.”

“In case?” Taako prompted, smiling.

“God, this is embarrassing. You’re enjoying this, aren’t you?”

“You’re so cute when you're flustered, though!” Taako said, brushing his thumb across Kravitz’s (weirdly cool) cheek. Kravitz ducked his head, burying his face in Taako’s collarbone.

“In case you liked me back, okay? Is that what you wanted to hear?” he said, voice muffled.

“Hell yeah, stud. And in case I wasn’t clear enough…right back at’cha, hot stuff.”

Just to prove it, Taako kissed him again.


	3. Rose Ceremony

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> aand we're back with chapter 3! halfway there y'all! this time: the fateful rose ceremony and carey has a hot date. hope you enjoy!

Everyone at the rose ceremony seemed to be in a good mood. Or maybe that was just Carey projecting on everyone else. She certainly was in a good mood—Killian had convinced the makeup artist that Carey had requested a specific lip stain for tonight and she had to run to the nearest town to get it. That gave Carey and Killian roughly forty-five minutes alone in her room, no cameras in sight. She could still feel Killian’s warm hands resting against her hips, the slightly tacky feel of Killian’s chapstick on her cheeks and lips. She’d had to cover a small red spot on her neck with some emergency foundation, but that was well worth the feel of Killian kissing down her neck.

Now, wandering around at the cocktail party, she spotted Killian standing dutifully behind a camera, and smiled to herself. She caught Killian’s eye and bit her lip, rising her eyebrow a fraction.

She laughed quietly to herself when Killian sent her a subtle wink. God, she couldn’t wait for the rose ceremony to be over so she could see her again. Honestly, if it wasn’t for Killian, Carey was sure she would have bailed on this show somewhere around week three. After they’d gotten together, both had entertained running off together, but decided to stick it out, both out of respect for Lucretia and the very real need for money. 

Unfortunately, she had to live through this rose ceremony first. She glanced over at the director, silently begging with her eyes to get the show on the road.

Lucretia shook her head minutely. “Crew’s not ready. Talk to someone,” she mouthed. Carey made a face but picked up a martini (her second of the evening) and plopped down on the patio. Soon enough, Johann come floating by, guitar in hand. He had loosened the tie around his neck (had he ever worn one for a whole night?) and was obviously about three drinks ahead of her. He settled next to her and strummed his guitar lazily.

“Good evening, Carey.”

“Good evening, Johann. Are you working on a new piece?”

Johann nodded. “I’m in the middle of something for sure. It’s not quite ready, but I could play it for you if you’d like?”

Carey put on her most gracious smile. “Absolutely!”

Johann built up some chords and mumbled a few words under his breath. “Gotta remember what I wrote,” he admitted. “Hold on.”

By the time he’d gotten himself sorted out, the camera crew was in place, ready to capture the moment.

Johann, predictably, began to sing something lilting and wistful about a lover hidden in plain sight. He stumbled a little on the words, some of the chords not meshing well together. Like he had said, it was a work in progress.

Carey couldn’t help a glance towards Killian, and found Killian staring right back at her, a tiny private smile playing on her lips. Carey returned it with a smile of her own, closing her eyes as the last notes faded away.

“That was wonderful, Johann,” she said, back in bachelorette mode.

“Really?” Johann said. He looked a bit red in the face, a mixture of embarrassed and delighted. “It’s not finished yet, of course. I sort of, um, wrote it for you.”

“Oh! Well, it is beautiful, but I don't know if I could accept such a generous gift. Art is deeply personal. I would hate to take something from you that isn’t even fully finished.”

Johann looked down, disappointed, and Carey knew she’d said the wrong thing.

“But thank you. Maybe after it’s complete and you’ve had time to think about it, you can sing it for me again.”

He perked up instantly. “I’d love to, Carey.”

“Why don’t you play some more?” she suggested.

Johann brightened even further and went through some of the songs he already completed. They went through five more (admittedly beautiful) numbers from various _Voidfish_ albums before Lucretia motioned for the cast to follow her into the house for the rose ceremony.

 

The rose ceremony, unlike the rest of the show, went fairly quickly. After all the men assembled in the foyer, Davenport handed Carey a small glass vase full of roses. 

Carey gave Magnus the first one, who accepted it with grave dignity. Second went to Johann, who accepted it with much more enthusiasm. The third went to Kravitz, inclining his head in silent thanks. And then…

“This is the final rose,” Davenport told Carey, like she was incapable of seeing that, yes, there was only rose left in the vase. “When you’re ready.”

Carey looked between the last two suitors. Barry was visibly sweating, and even Taako looked a bit nervous. Bizarrely, his eyes kept cutting to Kravitz and the director, over and over again, never once landing on her. 

Maybe Lucretia had threatened him to behave after the stunt he’d pulled walking off set. Lucretia had left the decision of this elimination up to Carey, but Taako didn’t know that. 

She picked up the final rose, letting the moment drag on for what she deemed a thematically acceptable amount of time. Then she approached the two remaining men. She held out the rose.

“Taako, will you accept this rose?” 

“Oh, hell yes, darling!” Taako exclaimed, smiling hugely and plucking the rose from her fingers. He bowed dramatically over her hand and pressed her knuckles to his lips for half an instant. She smiled at his saucy wink and withdrew her hand again.

To Barry, she said, “I’m going to miss you, Barry. You’re a good friend, and I’m sure we could have grown closer over time. But, like Taako said earlier, I believe that your heart is in a different place. As is mine.”

It was probably the most truthful thing she’d said on camera in two months. She hugged him, listening to his mumbled words of goodbye. They’d have a chance to talk off-camera before the car came to take him away, but she wasn’t sure either of them would take up that opportunity.

As the hugged, Carey whispered, “I hope you and Taako’s sister can reconnect and talk things through.”

“Me too,” he whispered back. He held on to her for a minute longer, and then let go.

“Goodbye, Carey.”

\--

That night, Taako snuck into Kravtiz’s room. He knocked on the door twice before slipping inside. Kravitz jumped a little in surprise when he entered, but recovered quickly.

“Did I scare you?”

“Just a little. I wasn’t expecting to see you here. In my room.”

“Like I could stay away from you, handsome,” Taako said with a wink. Kravitz rolled his eyes fondly and walked over to give Taako a quick kiss.

“Hmm, how forward of you. I like it,” Taako teased. “But seriously, my man, we need to talk about this.”

“This?” Kravitz repeated doubtfully.

“Yes, this. We can’t just make out in a hot tub once and assume things are gonna go back to how they were.”

“Oh,” said Kravitz, pulling away awkwardly. “I didn’t really think things were they way they were. I thought we were, well, together now.”

“Darling, that is the plan, believe you me. But there has to be _a plan,_ you feel?” Taako said, reaching out to grab Kravitz’s hand and pulling him closer again.

“I suppose so. What were you thinking?”

Taako fiddled with the hem of his shirt, a nervous habit he’d never been able to shake and a tell-tale sign of the uncertainty he felt.

“I don’t know,” he admitted. “If it was up to me, I would say fuck this show and take off with you tonight. We could be in Moscow by tomorrow afternoon, drinking martinis and making out on the beach.”

“But?” Kravitz prompted.

“But,” Taako agreed. _“But_ we both have contracts to fulfill with this show. _But_ I have a best friend slash adopted brother to look out for. _But_ I actually think me and Carey are pretty good friends and if we say _sayonara_ , that leaves her with just Mags and Johann for company, which seems cruel. I mean, the dude is nice and all and his music is fuckin’ pretty as hell, but there’s only so many times someone can listen to _Wonderwall_ before they’re ready to commit murder, you know?”

“So, what are you suggesting?” Kravitz said. “We stay on the show?”

“For lack of a better plan, yeah. You know I’m all for drama and shit, but two candidates leaving at once so late in the game really screws with the filming schedule. I used to work in TV. A development like that could ruin the rest of the season.”

“So what are we going to do? Sneak around and hide our relationship?” Kravitz asked. He didn’t sound upset, just concerned. That’s what Taako liked about him—ready to adapt to the situation, find the best way.

“As much as that sucks, yeah, I think so. I pretty much got Lucretia’s blessing, though, so as long as we’re careful and play our parts, we should be able to get through this without too much pain.”

“What about Carey?” Kravitz said. “It doesn’t seem fair to her.”

Taako hesitated, weighing the options. As private as this room seemed, he couldn’t be positive. And as much as he trusted Kravitz—and god, how weird was it that he trusted Kravitz so much, after only knowing him for two months—he couldn’t be sure whatever they said would stay in this room.

“She’ll be okay. I can’t tell you why. I wish I could, but I made a promise to keep my mouth shut. You just have to trust me. Do you trust me?”

Kravitz sucked in his bottom lip to chew on while he thought. When he finally looked up, there was no indecision on his face.

“Yes. I trust you,” he said, and the unpleasant weight on Taako’s chest lessened considerably. He let out a relieved breath, leaning his head on Kravitz’s shoulder. “Now that _that’s_ out of the way, I’d like to make out until we fall asleep. Sound good?”

The way Kravitz kissed him made it clear what he thought about that plan. After a few minutes of mostly-silence, Taako giggled, pulling away. “Darling, anyone ever tell you that you have extremely cold hands?”

Kravitz pulled his hands out from under the edge of Taako’s shirt. 

“Uh, sorry.”

“Oh, I don’t mind,” Taako said cheerfully, grabbing Kravitz’s hands and shoving them back where they belonged. Kravitz laughed softly against Taako’s mouth.

“Wait until you feel how cold my feet are,” he mumbled. “I’m known to cuddle ferociously without regard for my partner’s body heat.”

“Hmm, I can’t wait to find out.”

\--

They didn’t do a lot of filming over the weekend. The majority of the time was spent prepping for the hometowns episode, which they would film over the next three weeks. Since that didn’t involve very much on her end, Carey was given a full day off-set. She took off early Saturday morning, determined to make the most of her freedom. Coincidentally, Killian called in sick for the first time in years.

They met up at a park in the late morning. Carey wore a large sunhat that managed to hide her face fairly well, though there were few people around, and even fewer that might recognize her. Killian had a baseball cap pulled on over her curly hair.

Carey laughed in delight when she saw her. “Wow, I’ve never seen you wear makeup before. You look good!” she said, holding out her hand. Killian took it readily, lacing their fingers together.

“Thank you,” she said shyly. She paused and mumbled something under her breath.

“Hmm?” Carey said, leaning in closer.

“I, uh, wanted to look, uh, cute. For our date,” Killian repeated, a little bit louder. Carey couldn't help the grin that spread across her face.

“You always look cute,” she said. “I’m sorry I’m so dressed down.”

Carey, for once, had a face free of makeup, and she was wearing jeans and a simple t-shirt. She felt about ten pounds lighter without cakey stage makeup and a constricting dress on.

“No, no!” Killian said. “I like you dressed down. You look…natural. Comfortable.”

“I _feel_ comfortable, finally, getting out of that house. Like I can breathe again.”

She glanced Killian, feeling playful. “But then again, looking at you takes my breath away.”

Killian ducked her head, a blush exploding across her face.

“You can’t just _say_ things like that, Carey! I wasn’t ready!”

“Aww,” Carey cooed . “Am I not allowed to tell my beautiful girlfriend that she’s beautiful?”

“Stop, no! You’re the beautiful one here.”

“Not as beautiful as you.”

They bickered back and forth, piling on compliment after compliment—“You’re gorgeous, listen.” “No, _you_ listen! You’re funny _and_ adorable, which is just not fair.” “You know what’s not fair? How unprepared my gay little heart was when I met you. I swear I couldn’t look at you without stuttering something stupid.” “Your stuttering was adorable. And it was _my_ gay heart that wasn’t ready. I saw you and I thought the mics would be able to pick up my heartbeat from a mile away.”—until they were both laughing too hard to continue. Carey sat down underneath a tree, laughing helplessly. Killian followed her down, leaning her back against the trunk. A comfortable silence fell between them as they both caught their breath. Finally, Carey sighed happily and leaned against Killian. Killian lifted her arm so Carey could lean into her, and draped it around Carey’s shoulders. Comfortable. Natural.

“This show has been the worst thing I’ve ever had to do,” Carey started, looking out across the park. “But you know what? I’m glad I’m here. I would do it all over again if it meant I could still be with you.”

Killian kissed the side of her head. “I’m so happy I met you, Carey.”

“Mmm. Me too. I’m glad we met.”

Suddenly, Carey sat up, dispelling the atmosphere.

“Oh! I almost forgot.” 

She ducked out from under Killian’s arm, going for her purse. She dug around for a few seconds and came back with a small bouquet red roses. They were starting to wilt from being stuck in her purse all morning, and she tried to fluff up the petals before handing it to Killian.

“What’s this?” Killian said, taking the bouquet.

“Last night, I wanted to give them all to you—every single rose. Since I couldn’t then, I thought I’d make it up to you now. You aren’t a part of this convoluted game, Killian. You’re worth more than a half dozen day-old flowers. I want to give you more than that. And I will, after this charade has played itself out. But for now, all I have is these roses. Is that okay?”

Killian carefully set down the bouquet and took Carey’s hand instead. 

“Always. I cherish everything you give me, Carey.”

She kissed Carey, both sure and soft. Carey returned her kiss, shifting closer and closer until she was practically on Killian’s lap. They sat beneath the tree, entwined in each other’s arms, until a loud rumble caused them both to pull away. Carey reddened, putting a hand to her stomach.

“I, uh, left the house before I had a chance to grab some breakfast.”

“I think there’s a cafe nearby. Want to go get something to eat?” Killian said, holding out her hand for Carey to take.

Carey nodded gratefully, letting Killian pull her to her feet. She immediately took Killian’s hand again, and swung their hands between them.

“A brunch date with the cutest girl in town. How did I get so lucky?” she said.

“You’re not half as lucky as I am.”

As they walked through the park and into the quaint town nearby, Carey thought this is what it might be like when the show was over and they could be together for real.

She couldn’t wait.


	4. Hometowns

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> when i started writing this fic, this was the chapter i planned out first, and the one i was most excited to write. maybe because of that, it's like, twice as long as the other chapters. oh well. anyway, i'd like to thank everyone who has left comments and kudos. i can't even tell you how happy it makes me it get your feedback. so thank you and i hope you enjoy this chapter!!

The five days spent on Johann’s hometown visit was, by far, Taako’s favorite stretch of filming. Everyone but Carey and Johann were left to their own devices in the house, while those two, the director, and most of the camera crew headed off to Florida for filming. Taako assumed he would spend most of his time squirreled away somewhere with Kravitz, making up for the weeks he’d spent un-laid, but to his surprise, both he and Kravitz spent hours at a time hanging out with Angus instead. (Although, there was also a good amount of other stuff after Ango had gone to bed and they had the house to themselves).

Taako would have thought that Lucretia would take Angus with her, but she left him behind, citing him as “the most responsible person here” and telling him to“keep them from burning the house down” while she was gone. Angus took his job very seriously, but also let himself play with the guys. After all, the kid was, what, ten? He had a lot of kid left in him. Lucky for him, the other members of the house were pretty childish themselves. 

Taako and Kravitz got roped into Angus and Magnus’ fantasy adventure game. They were in the middle of an urgent quest to stop a sky laboratory from touching down on earth and crystallizing the world. There were robots and elevators in this weird fantasy world, which didn't seem likely, but Ango was having fun, so Taako went along with it. He got, perhaps, a touch _too_ into it. Like when Kravitz’s character appeared and tried to kill him, and he shouted, “Hey thug, what’s your name, I’m about to tentacle your dick!” 

That sent Angus into storms of giggles, so much so that they had to take a break, and Taako felt strangely proud. And even more so when Kravitz sidled over to him a minute later and whispered, “was that a promise, love?”

“If you want it to be, stud. I’m down for whatever, you know that.”

“Hmm…” Kravitz said, pretending to think. “I think I’d be—how did you say?— ‘down for it’ as well. Tonight?”

“Hell. Yes,” Taako responded, pulling Kravitz in and kissing him soundly, a promise for more to come.

 

The days Krav went to film his hometown episode were, conversely, pretty boring. The fantasy game was Taako’s only saving grace, to be honest. This adventure was some kind of time-travel shenanigans in a western town, which was interesting and took his mind off of missing Kravitz, something he fully didn’t expect to feel so soundly. They’d only been fucking around for a few weeks—the fact that Taako had started to get attached to him emotionally rather than just physically was jarring to be sure. It was a little scary, if he was being honest. He didn’t except the _feelings_ bubbling up in his chest whenever he was around Kravitz, or the slightly empty ache left behind when he was gone. Even Magnus had noticed Taako’s melancholy.

“Anything wrong, Taako?” he asked one afternoon after Agnus had wandered away to get things in order for Taako’s hometown trip.

“You know I’m an emotionless, heartless person, right?” Taako said. Magnus raised his eyebrows, looking unconvinced. 

“You miss Kravitz, huh?”

Taako’s head snapped up in disbelief.

“What?” Magnus said. “I’m not stupid, Taako. You’ve been staring at his ass for the past two and a half months. And then, about three weeks ago, you stopped staring subtly, and so did he, so I assumed you’d starting hooking up.”

“Oh. I thought we were being careful,” Taako muttered. He swallowed back the sick, hot feeling in his throat. If Magnus, who was not the most observant person on the planet, could figure out he and Kravitz were together, others would put it together too.

“Don’t worry. I think it’s my brother-radar kicking in. No one else should notice, outside of you two spending more time together.”

Taako remained silent, still unconvinced. Magnus sighed. 

“Taako, it’s not a big deal. I can help cover for you, you know that. And Killian, I’ve talked to her, she said you can count on her to control the final cut. Even the director—she seems reasonable. You have nothing to worry about.”

“What if he proposes to Carey?” Taako said, his voice coming out far too small. He cleared his throat in an attempt to regain control of his voice. “Damnit. I mean, yeah, we’re fucking around or whatever and I guess we’ve talked about feelings and shit sometimes, but, like, he’s talked about how Carey is just his type. And I know that she’s not into him, but there’s so much pressure for someone to propose to the bachelorette, and I get that. But I just don’t want it to be him.”

Magnus nodded sagely, and skipped the pep talk in favor of wrapping Taako in a bear hug. Taako yelped in surprise but quickly resigned himself to it.

“Don’t worry,” Magnus said. “It’ll all turn out okay. Kravitz is a smart guy. He wouldn’t do that to you. I promise.”

“Okay,” Taako said after a moment. He patted Magnus’ arm. “Uh, you can let go now, big guy.”

“Nope! You need this,” Magnus said cheerfully. “Besides, you’ve got a long-standing hug debt to pay off. Candlenights of ’09, remember? Gave me that coupon for five complaint-free hugs, and I never collected.”

Taako sighed.

\--

Out of all of the hometowns, Carey thought she was looking forward to Taako’s the most. Johann’s had been kind of boring. His family was blandly polite to her, but she couldn't say she felt they liked her very much. Kravitz didn’t have much in the way of family—just his mother. Raven was kind to her, if a bit aloof, and very concerned about Kravitz’s well being. She gave her blessing to the couple, should Carey decide to accept her son’s hand. She’d gotten that same blessing from Johann’s parents, but for some reason, Raven’s felt a lot less contrived. 

But with half of the hometowns out of the way, it was time for Taako’s. He was, even now, a total mystery, both to the viewer and to Carey herself. He didn’t talk much about himself, though through bits of conversation, she thought maybe he and Magnus had grown up together. Which was weird, given her friendship with Magnus pre-show. She would have thought he’d have mentioned Taako before. Either way, she’d find out soon enough.

\--

Taako slung three bags worth of clothes into the plane they’d be taking to the small town on the northern boarder. Carey placed her two smaller bags next to his, and tucked her purse next to the camera equipment.

They’d have a camera in the plane with them, in case either of them happened to say something interesting or noteworthy. They spent the first hour of their journey in relative silence. Taako was scrolling through his phone, typing out a message here and there, and occasionally showing Carey funny things he found. They talked a little about homesickness and things they’d missed since being on the show. Carey said she missed wearing sweatpants. Taako said he missed wearing skirts.

Eventually, the conversation wandered to hometowns, and Carey said, “So, Taako. Where are we going exactly? Where is home for you?”

Taako tucked his phone away, considering.

“I like to keep a sort of mystery around me, Carey, but you’re my friend, so….” he shrugged. “I don’t really have a home. Me and Lup, my sister, we got passed around a lot as kids. Spent some time with our _tía_ —she taught us to cook. That was probably some of the best years of our childhood. After that, we ended up in the system. Lots of foster families, lots of foster homes.”

He looked away, something like nostalgia crossing his face, but a bit harder, sharper.

“Then there was a family that wanted to adopt us when we were about ten years old. But they could only afford to take one of us in. Of course Lup said no. She told me she’d never even consider leaving me in the system without her, but that family could provide her with—with things she needed. Stuff she couldn’t get in foster care. Medical stuff. So I convinced her to go with them.”

Carey put a hand on Taako’s shoulder. “I’m sorry,” she said, feeling like it was totally inadequate. She couldn’t imagine how it must have felt. 

“Yeah, well. I turned out alright. Granted, I might not have, if Magnus’ dad hadn’t taken me in. He skipped the fostering part of the deal and adopted me right away when I was twelve. Merle tried his best, but believe it or not, I was an ungrateful little shithead. I took off the day I turned eighteen.”

“Why?” Carey asked. She shifted herself over, in hopes that her body would block the camera from catching Taako’s face. This was a moment between friends, not one to be plastered on TV screens.

“I wanted to find Lup. Mags and Merle are family, sure, but Lup is the only family I didn’t have to find for myself. I needed to be around her again.”

“Oh.”

Taako smiled, suddenly. “Hey, now, this isn’t a tragic backstory or anything. I found Lup, we went to culinary school together, and we live in a tiny apartment a few blocks from the restaurant we run together. It’s all good. I’m telling you this so you won’t judge me for having a shitty hometown,” he added, like an afterthought. 

Carey thought maybe that was a lie.

“Taako?” she said.

“Yeah?”

“Thank you for telling me. About your sister, and about Merle.”

“I…I wanted you to know,” he said, sounding surprised to find it was true. “You’re a good friend.”

Carey sat back, letting the camera focus on Taako again.

“Tell me more about Lup?” she said, and Taako perked up. 

“Hell yeah! If you think _I’m_ perfect, wait till you meet her. Lup is straight-up the best.”

As Taako launched into a longwinded story about a prank they’d pulled on their last day in culinary school, he sounded unguarded for once, allowing himself to be enthusiastic without a trace of his usual sarcasm.

\--

The hometown date was the only one that Taako had any kind of planning power for. He was in charge of deciding how he and Carey spent the afternoon, as long as they were at Taako’s house (apartment) by evening. But Taako couldn’t wait that long to see Lup again. The closer he got to his town, the more pronounced the ache in his stomach was. 

It was either born from the need to see his sister again, or the fact they had skipped lunch. Either way, a trip to The Seven Birds would help.

They landed and threw their bags into a waiting van. Lucretia very reluctantly handed Taako a set of keys. She, two camera men, two boom mic operators, and a lighting tech piled into the car, and Taako and Carey took the front seats.

“Hold on to your butts!” Taako shouted gleefully, and jammed the key into the ignition.

\--

They arrived at a small restaurant five minutes later, though given the traffic they had to wade through, it should have been closer to fifteen. Taako crowed something unintelligible, screeching to a stop in one and a half parking spots.

Out front of the restaurant, a remarkably familiar-looking woman was waiting for them.A ‘sorry, we’re closed’ sign hung in the front window, but someone had crossed out ‘sorry’ and wrote ‘deal with it’ instead.

“Hey, asshole!” the woman yelled as they stepped out of the van.

Taako practically launched himself at her. She caught him around the middle and squeezed him until his back popped.

“Have you been taking hugging lessons from Magnus, homie?” Taako asked, sounding winded but delighted. He didn’t wait for her reply, hugging her back just as hard.

“Please, Magpie _wishes_ he was as strong as me,” she bragged, flexing an arm. “All that kitchen work makes me buff. You could do with a little more of that, bro.”

She waved at Carey, ignoring Taako’s mildly insulted reply. 

“Come on over, babe, don’t be shy. I want to meet the girl my little brother is dating.”

“Taako’s younger than you?” Carey asked. Lup—this had to be her—looked extraordinarily like Taako; they had the same golden brown skin, black hair, and brown eyes, and shared identical facial structures. They even had similar voices. Honestly, she thought they were twins.

“By seven minutes,” Taako grumbled, and Carey nodded to herself. _Twins._

“Anyway, Carey, meet Lup. Lup, meet Carey.”

Lup shook Carey’s hand firmly. “Cool. Why don’t you both come inside? I closed down the restaurant for the afternoon so me and Taako can work our magic.”

“Magic?” Carey repeated. 

“We haven’t cooked together in ages,” Taako explained. “It can get a little…loud?”

“Oh,” Carey said, a little lost. By now, she should be used to Taako’s strange way of doing—well, everything. But having a second Taako thrown into the equation made things even more confusing than they usually were.

Taako seemed to recognize how out of place she felt because he slung an arm around her shoulders and pulled her into the restaurant. It was neatly, if a bit garishly, decorated, bright teals and yellows and greens covering the walls and floor. There was only one table in the middle of the room, the rest pushed off to the side. 

“The crew can get set up in the main dining room while me and Taako take the lovely little lady to get some food. What would you like, darling?”

“Uh, what can you make?”

Lup shrugged. “Whatever. If we don’t know how, we’ll figure it out. Oh! Taako, I’m gonna kick your ass if you don’t make me some macaroons today. I had to take them off the menu because the regulars kept complaining that yours are so much better.”

Taako clicked his tongue in response, throwing finger guns at his sister.

In the kitchen, Lup threw him an apron with one hand, pulling out a large mixing bowl with the other. Taako caught the apron without looking, tying it around him in an instant. 

“T, throw me the—” Lup started, and Taako tossed a bag of sugar at her before she could finish. She caught it, and tossed him a whisk and the bowl.

Carey watched, transfixed, by the way the twins worked together. They always seemed to know what the other needed. One would move to grab something and the other would have it waiting for them by the time they got there. Taako was grinning, wide and unabashed, chatting with Lup about something that Carey couldn’t quite follow—like most people she knew who had siblings they were close to, Taako and Lup seemed to have a sort of half-language all their own, built of inside jokes and understood vernacular. 

Carey thought back to how Taako interacted with Angus and finally understood why he spent so much of his limited free time with the kid.

In the doorway to the kitchen, Killian had a camera rolling, catching the twins in the midst of their craft. Taako had always been a natural in front of a camera—he’d had a short-lived TV show, Carey remembered—but Lup was doing just as well. She didn’t glance at the camera nervously, or try to present a good angle, or speak differently than normal. She just continued to work with and around her brother, acknowledging the camera with a slight nod.

After a few minutes of sitting on her hands, Carey stood up. “Can I help with anything?”

At almost the same time, Lup pointed at a head of lettuce and Taako said, “You can make a salad.”

“Cool,” Carey said. She grabbed a knife, the lettuce, and a few things from the fridge. She obviously didn’t have the culinary training of the other two, but she could make a pretty solid vinaigrette.

Lup nodded approvingly at her choice of ingredients and went back to chopping an onion at light speed and talking even faster. Busying herself with the salad, Carey smiled to herself. Yeah, Taako’s hometown definitely her favorite.

\--

Spending the day with Lup was the breath of fresh air Taako wasn’t aware he needed. Cooking with her was familiar and grounding. Talking to her was a relief. 

Magnus was his brother, in bond if not blood, Kravitz he clicked with more than others, and Angus felt like a little baby cousin, but none of them were Lup. No one else _got_ him the way Lup did.

“So,” she said conversationally as they plated the meal. “You made it this far, huh?”

Taako heard what she was really saying, which was _‘what are you, my gayest brother, doing in the final four contestants of The Bachelorette?’_

“Oh, you know, no one can resist this charm,” he answered. Lup clicked her tongue. 

“Keeping occupied?” _‘Getting some?’_

“Yeah.” _‘Yeah.’_

“What are the other guys like?” she asked, meaning, ‘ _Who is this man with whom you are getting some?’_

“Kravitz is a cool cat, that’s for sure. He might even beat me when it comes to charm and poise.”

“Really?” she said.

Taako snorted. “No. He’s a major dork.”

“Hmm, he sounds interesting. I’d like to meet him someday.” Meaning, _‘bring him home after all of this so I can give him the shovel talk.’_

“No way am I subjecting him to you, Lup.” ‘ _Absolutely, I 100% will.’_

“Carey, how about you? Keeping busy?” Lup asked, pulling Carey back into the conversation.

Carey laughed. “That would be putting it mildly, yeah.”

Lup and Carey launched into a conversation about the show—what she liked, what she didn’t, who was doing well. Taako let the sounds of chatter wash over him. God, it was good to be home.

“How’s Garyl?” he interjected suddenly. “He still kicking?”

“Unfortunately. The little shit won’t take a hint and die already.”

Garyl was his borzoi, Taako explained to Carey, the first purchase he had made fresh out of college, and the first pet he’d ever had. He was getting on in years now, and both Taako and Lup would be absolutely devastated when he died. Taako was glad to hear the fucker was still around, and even more so that he had his sister around to look after him.

After dinner, Carey went off to film some single shots and record voice over, and Taako and Lup stood side-by-side to do the dishes. It had a familiar rhythm, something they’d perfected in childhood. Taako washed, Lup rinsed and dried. Taako shifted from foot to foot, trying to find the best way to dive into what he knew to be a sensitive subject.

“Hey, Lulu,” he started softly. 

“Hmm?”

“Barry’s off the show.”

Lup’s hands stilled. “Really?” she asked, faux-casually. 

“He…the whole time he was there, he wasn’t there for Carey. I think he tried to like her but everyone could see he wasn’t even buying it himself. I thought he might have called you by now.”

Lup’s lips twisted ruefully. “Nope. That might be because the last time I saw him I told him to never contact me again.”

“Oh, Lu,” Taako sighed. “I’m supposed to be the bad-decisions twin. You’re supposed to be level-headed and smart and shit.”

“Nah, we’ve always been stupid when it comes to love, Taako. Both of us. I’m hoping that you can break that cycle with this show.”

“I hope you can, too, Lup. I know things ended badly between you two, but when you were together, Barry made you happier than you’ve been in years. He would have rearranged the stars for you if he thought it might make you smile. Probably still would, honestly.”

“I know,” Lup said quietly. She shook her head, throat working back tears. “Isn’t that terrible? He still loves me and I still love him but I just can’t make myself call him and tell him that.” 

They worked in silence for a few minutes. Lup cleared her throat and said, “Maybe I could do with one of your patented bad ideas. What do you think?”

“What are the wonder twins without a bad idea or two?” Taako said grandly, knowing what she was really asking. He dried his hands and pulled out his phone. He punched inBarry’s number, hit the call button, and handed to Lup before she could chicken out. They both stood in silence while the line rang, Taako understanding every bit of terror and excitement on his sister’s face. Taako heard the line click, the unmistakable sound of Barry’s voice, though he couldn’t make out the words.

“Hi, Barry,” she said. The voice on the other end stopped. When it started up again, regret and relief washed over Lup’s face in equal measure.

Slowly, she sat down on the floor and Taako went with her. He held her hand and listened to the two of them talk. If nothing else came of this whole stupid show, it might be worth it to see that smile on his sister’s face again.

\--

The next morning, Lup pulled Carey aside for a quick talk before the crew packed up and brought them back to the main set.

She stepped into Carey’s guest bedroom, leaning casually against the doorjamb, ignoring the cameraman standing right behind her.

“So, for real, what do you think of Taako?” she asked. “I know he can be a real asshole, and he’s terrible at expressing emotions, but he’s a softie when you get down to it.”

“I like Taako a lot,” Carey said honestly. “He’s one of the nicest guys in the house. He cares so much about Angus—that’s the director’s son. They play together a lot. I think Taako’s been trying to teach him gymnastics.”

“Makes sense. Taako’s always been kind of protective, even if he pretends not to be. He loves it when he can show off what he knows. He’s good with kids, too. If you end up picking him, you looking at kids in the future?”

Carey managed to turn her laugh into a cough. “Uh, no. Kids are _pretty_ far off in my life plan. If I do have kids, I’ll probably adopt. I never thought much of having biological kids when there are so many good ones already here, you know?”

Lup made a soft humming sound. Carey flushed, remembering that Taako and Lup were foster children themselves. “I mean—”

“Naw, it’s cool,” Lup said. She sent a sly grin toward Carey. “By the way, I won’t mind if you choose my brother. Not because I think you’re a good match—no offense, but you’re _really_ not his type—but I have a bet going with Greg Grimaldis and if Taako wins, I get the jackpot.”

“Uh…okay,” Carey said. “Thanks? I guess?”

“That’s the blessing you need, right? I’ve never seen this show before but I thought I heard you need a blessing from the mom, right? Or maybe he does. Whatever. We don’t have a mom, so I’ll have to do.”

“Thank you,” Carey said, much more sincerely now that she knew what Lup was trying to do. “Seriously, thank you.”

Lup smiled a bit self-consciously. “No prob, man. And, hey, even if you don’t pick him, come over and visit again, yeah? You seem like a cool cat.”

“I will,” Carey said, and was happy to know that she actually meant it.

\--

When they returned to the set, the first thing Taako did was search for Magnus. He found him, packing his own bags for his hometown visit.

“Hey, lug,” Taako said. Magnus grinning, motioning him into the room.

“How did it go?” he asked.

Taako shrugged. “We saw Lulu. She looks great, man, all confident and shit. I thought maybe she’s been doing better now that I’m not around.”

“Taako—” Magnus started, but Taako shook his head. 

“Naw, she already gave me the ‘don’t-think-so-little-of-yourself’ talk, so don’t even worry about it, my man. I’m just saying, maybe it’s about time for me to be on my own, too, you know? After this shoot wraps up, I might take off. Don’t know where I’ll go, but…I love Lup, and I miss her so fucking much, but I can’t lean on her like I used to. She’s got a life, a restaurant. I think things between her and Bluejeans are getting better. They’re good for each other. I think they’re gonna end up together again. It’ll be good for her.”

“Okay?” Magnus said, obviously more than a little confused by the conversation. Taako sighed.

“I was wondering if you’d ask Merle if he’d mind me staying with him for a while, so I can get my shit together.”

“Oh!” Magnus exclaimed. “Yeah! Of course I’ll ask him! You know he’s gonna say yes, though. Even though he’d never admit it, he misses you. You’re just like him that way.”

“Just ask him,” Taako said. He flicked his fingers carelessly. “Okay, that’s enough emotion for one day. Later, loser.”

He left Magnus to his packing and went to go find his boyfriend.

\--

Carey and Magnus landed in Raven’s Roost in the mid-afternoon the next day. So much travel back-to-back was leaving Carey feeling more than a little wobbly on her feet, faint and lifeless. Maybe Lucretia could tell, because she said that instead of filming the gym-workout date in the gym they’d met in, she suggested that they film the family visit portion of the show first.

“We can film the other half tomorrow and piece it together,” Lucretia said. “You need to take a nap and eat something, and then we can film.”

Carey nodded gratefully, grabbing her sleep mask out of her purse—she’d become the queen of quick naps recently—and heading to the van. She shivered as she got in, the contrast between dry heat outside and the air conditioned vehicle hitting her suddenly. Killian, packing up the van with equipment, caught the small shudder and wordlessly handed Carey the hoodie tied around her waist. Carey yawned, cocooning herself in the too-big sweatshirt, flashed Killian a grateful smile, and settled back into the seat. She was asleep within a minute.

Carey awoke a while later to the quiet murmur of Lucretia and Magnus talking in the front seat. They seemed to be discussing the upcoming shoot.

“There are some things I’d rather not make the final cut,” Magnus was saying.

“Like what?” Lucretia asked. 

“I’m going to visit my wife’s grave while Carey is napping at the house. The anniversary of her passing was just a few weeks ago.”

Magnus cleared his throat. “And I would appreciate it if no cameras came with me for that.”

“Of course,” Lucretia said, voice softer and kinder than Carey had ever heard. Usually she was brisk and professional, kind, but in a detached way. Sometimes Carey would see a sly smile tugging at her mouth, or a spark of something in her eye and thought that maybe Lucretia would enjoy being closer with her cast. This was the first time she’d even heard that gentleness truly come out.

“Even if you had allowed cameras to come with you to the grave, I wouldn’t let something like that air without your permission, anyway. I’m glad you asked me about this,” she added, almost like she was afraid to say it. 

“I trust you,” Magnus replied simply.

Carey slipped back into a light sleep as the two in the front fell silent, each in their own little worlds.

When Carey woke fully for the second time, she was cradled in Killian’s arms.

“Sorry! I didn’t mean to wake you,” Killian whispered sheepishly.

“Where am I?” Carey asked. She snuggled further into Killian’s arms, warm and content. The hoodie still hung off her shoulders, more a nightdress than a sweatshirt.

“Magnus’ house, the guest room. He said you could nap here. I offered to carry you in because. Um, I wanted to.”

“Oh, good, I wanted you to, too,” Carey said. Killian deposited her into a slightly-dusty smelling bed. 

“Sleep well,” Killian said, turning to go. Carey caught her hand. 

“Wait.” She stood up, pressing a soft kiss to Killian’s lips. Killian responded easily. She cradled Carey’s head in one hand as they kissed easily.

“I wish you could stay here with me,” Carey admitted, tugging on Killian’s shirt collar a little, their noses barely brushing together. These stolen kisses and soft words, they sustained her, and made her crave the future when they didn’t have to count these moments as precious. When these moments were as natural and expected as breathing.

“Me too. Take your nap, alright? I’ll see you in a few hours.”

Killian left her with another kiss and a soft, fond glance. Carey pressed her lips together to contain her fond grin before falling asleep again.

 

This time when Carey awoke, she was more refreshed and alert than she’d felt in a while. She changed into a clean dress and ran her fingers though her hair before stepping out into the hall.

Merle Highchurch was standing at the door, poised to knock.

“Oh!” Carey exclaimed. “Sorry!”

“Oh, hello. You’re Carey, right? I’m Merle, Magnus’ dad. We met before, but that was a while ago.”

Carey shook his hand. “It’s great to meet you again. Thank you for letting me use your guest room. I really needed the sleep.”

“No problem. You have great timing. Mag’s back from visiting Julia, so the tall lady said we could start filming.”

Merle led her down a hallway. Carey stopped to examine the walls for a moment—pictures covered nearly every inch, none of them in frames. Pictures of Magnus, mostly. The oldest showed him at age six or seven, a gap-tooth grin and dirt-covered clothes. Merle was in some of the pictures, looking more than a bit exhausted. Carey could understand why—it was hard enough to keep up with an adult Magnus. She imagined a younger one would have been even more energetic. Other pictures showed a tween and teenage Taako, mostly out-of-focus candid shots. There was one family picture of the three of them, Magnus, Merle, and Taako, all looking stiff and uncomfortable in pressed shirts and ties. 

There were also some faces Carey didn’t recognize. Two small children, each sharing Merle’s dark complexion and curly hair paraded in and out of the newest pictures.

“Who are these?” Carey asked, tracing the girl’s face with a finger. 

“My kids,” Merle grunted. “My biological kids, I mean. They spend most of their time at their mom’s house. They visit a few times a month.”

“What are their names?”

“The girl is Mavis. The little boy is Mookie.” 

Merle’s voice was gruff, but Carey could tell he loved them.

“They look like great kids,” she said. Merle nodded approvingly.

“You can’t do much to win me over with flattery, but doting on my kids’ll get you somewhere for sure. Come on, crew’s waiting.”

Lucretia looked visibly relieved when Carey and Magnus walked into the kitchen. She clapped her hands once, cutting Magnus off in the middle of a story.

“Great! You’ve already met, I see. Well, we’ll have to film your meeting again, if you don’t mind.”

Merle shrugged. “Fine by me.”

Carey agreed as well. After the crew set up, Carey walked in the front door, enthusiastically ‘meeting’ Merle again. It was a good shot, establishing Merle as a friendly, if a bit rough, host and father. Magnus cracked a joke about how he obviously got his good looks from his mother.

“Yeah, you think maybe the fact that you’re adopted has something to do with that?” Merle asked dryly. Magnus clapped a hand over his chest.

“I’m adopted?” he exclaimed. Merle rolled his eyes in a fondly exasperated way. 

All in all, it was a pretty great first meeting. Carey liked their real one more.

 

They did most of the filming in Merle’s living room. Like the hallway, there were pictures and little trinkets everywhere. In one corner, there was a beautiful, masterfully carved rocking chair. Unlike the other furniture in the room that looked like it had been obtained second-hand, the chair looked handmade, but very well done. As she walked past it, Carey thought she caught a whiff of something like lavender.

As Magnus walked past it, he reached out and brushed his hand against it, seemingly without thinking. Carey looked at him curiously but didn’t ask. Just like she didn’t mention the way he walked past the couch to the fireplace mantle, where a framed picture of a pretty woman with curly red hair and lots of freckles held the place of honor. He paused briefly to press a kiss to his fingertips and brush it against the woman’s portrait in a practiced, unconscious gesture.

_That must be Julia,_ Carey realized with a jolt. She’d heard a lot about her over the years as Magnus’ workout buddy. She’d met Magnus right after the two had gotten married, and had heard many lovesick ramblings about his beautiful wife. He never seemed to have a picture in his wallet, mostly because he usually forgot his wallet at home. And his phone. Carey had a running joke that Julia might not even be real, since she’d never even seen photographic evidence of her existence. Magnus had been so distraught at that suggestion that he’d borrowed Carey’s phone to call her right in the middle of their workout. Carey remembered Julia’s loud laugh from the shitty phone speakers, the affectionate way she called Magnus a goof. She knew what Julia sounded like, but had never seen her.

The funeral had been closed-casket.

When Magnus rejoined them on the couch, Carey gave him a warm smile, trying to express her sympathy without actually saying it out loud. Magnus smiled back, a little tiredly. 

\--

It took a few hours, but finally they had enough footage to satisfy Lucretia. Merle tended to swear more than they’d be able to edit out, so they had to repeat their conversations a few times before they got the right take. As Killian gestured for the crew to start packing up for the night, Merle cleared his throat.

“Carey, can I talk to you? Alone?”

“Sure,” Carey said, standing up and brushing down her skirt. Carey and Merle, tailed by the inevitable camera man, went to the backyard, which surprised Carey. She’d assumed they would talk in the kitchen or the hallway. But whatever Merle wanted to talk about, it was clear he wanted it to be private—or as private as it could be. He led Carey to a small white gazebo at the edge of the property.

“Carey,” Merle started. He stopped, running a hand through his hair, cheeks puffed out with a long breath. “You seem like a sweet girl. I know that you and Mags are good friends outside of this show.”

“Yeah,” Carey said. “He’s been a good friend to me for quite a while now. I’m very grateful he agreed to be on the show with me.”

“That’s…that’s what I wanted to talk to you about. I—Magnus is my son. I want the best for him. And this show—this isn’t good for him.”

Carey froze. “What?”

Merle sighed again, dropping onto the bench of the gazebo. He shook his head. “That boy’s got so much love in him, he just can’t keep it to himself. That big ol’ heart of his ends up hurting him sometimes. Like now.”

“Magnus is hurting?” Carey asked, horrorstruck. She’d been so focused on herself and the show, she’d forgotten about her friend. Magnus was so rarely _not okay,_ that she’d just…missed it.

“Julia’s been gone five years, now. That might seem like a long time to you or me, but five years isn’t that long when he thought he’d get to love her for the rest of his life. You saw him before—Julia is everywhere in that house. He’s not ready to let her go. He still loves her with everything he’s got. I just think this time, his heart got the better of him. Got him into something he wasn’t ready to do.”

Carey pressed her hand against her forehead. She could feel tears building up behind her eyes, shameful and hot, but she forced them back. “Thank you. I don’t know how I missed this,” she said quietly.

“You’ve had a lot going on yourself. It’s not your fault. No one but his dad would have noticed, I think.”

“Thank you,” Carey repeated again. “I’m going to talk with him again.”

Merle gave her a brief but heartfelt hug, and left her on her own. 

Carey took a moment to wipe her watery eyes and steady her breathing. She looked around her. The gazebo was truly beautiful. Just like the rocking chair, it looked handmade, she noticed. Another pang in her chest—there was a carving above the entryway, _Julia and Magnus Burnsides_ , and a date underneath. Of course. This had to have been his wedding present to her.

She stood up, suddenly unable to breathe inside the beautiful little gazebo. 

But Magnus was walking across the lawn toward her, Lucretia and Killian following behind. Carey sank back into her seat, pressing her lips together.

“Carey? Are you okay? Did my dad say something rude to you?” Magnus asked as soon as he reached her.

“No, nothing like that.”

Carey let out a breath while Magnus sat down beside her. She didn’t know how to start, so she just said, “Mags, I’m sorry.”

“What for?” Magnus said, sounding confused.

“This. Everything. The show, the acting, the pretending. I’m sorry I dragged you into this. I’m sorry I asked you to pretend to fall in love with me. I didn’t even think about your feelings. I was so wrapped up in myself, I—”

“Hey, hey now,” Magnus said hurriedly. Carey sniffed back her tears, pushing away from Magnus.

“I’m sending you home,” she said. “This was unfair to you. Julia will always be your wife, and even asking you to consider another one was a terrible thing to do.”

“But what about your plan?” Magnus asked softly. “You know you’re gonna have to—”

“Fuck the plan,” Carey interrupted fiercely. “And fuck the consequences, too. I won’t let my best friend put himself through so much for my sake.”

“Carey, I agreed to this, remember? Hell, I suggested it. It’s fine, really.”

“Look at me and tell me that it’s okay. Don’t you lie to me, Magnus Burnsides.”

They stared at each other for a few long seconds. And finally, after weeks and months of faking smiles, Carey saw the mask crack. 

Magnus’ face crumpled. He ducked his head, trying to hide his face. Carey hugged him, hiding her face as well.

Carey remembered the last time they’d sat like this. It was just after Julia’s funeral and he’d showed up at her house in the middle of the night with a terribly blank look on his face. Carey put on a stupid kid’s movie and they sat on the floor of her living room, and she let him talk. And eventually, he’d broken down, and she had held him like this. It was the moment they’d moved from ‘good friends’ to ‘best friends’ and remained one of Carey’s most vivid memories of him.

How could she have not seen this coming?

After only a moment, Magnus lifted his head from his hands.

“Be happy, okay, Carey? Follow your heart,” he said quietly, his eyes bright.

“I will. You too. Be happy. I’ll keep in touch with you.”

He gave her one last hug and stood up. He nodded to the crew but didn’t say anything as he made his exit. Carey didn’t miss the way he touched the wall of the gazebo, soft and uncertain.

Carey waited until he was back inside the house. She turned towards the director. “If you air a second of that footage, I’ll quit the show.”

“Of course we won’t,” Lucretia said. “I care about my people, Carey, far more than I care about the show.”

“Oh. Good,” Carey said, a bit ashamed. She sighed, her shoulders slumping. 

“God, can we be done for tonight?” she asked.

Lucretia nodded. “I think that would be best for everyone.”

As soon as the camera were put away for good, Carey walked directly into Killian’s arms, not even remotely caring who saw or what they thought. Killian held her tightly, pressing a kiss on the top of her head. Lucretia put a hand on each of their shoulders, a moment of pressure trying to express some emotion, and left without a word.


	5. Fantasy Suites

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> hey everyone! we're in the home stretch now--only one more chapter after this. thanks for sticking with me. and as a clarification from the last chapter, yes, Lup's adopted family was able to provide her with the hormones and everything else she needed to transition :)  
> hope you enjoy this chapter!

Carey returned to the house without Magnus, and Taako was surprised to find he wasn’t all that surprised. Something seemed to have shifted in Carey. She’d always been a badass in Taako’s books, but there was something fearless about her now. 

It was a welcome change to house dynamics, and one that had immediate consequences. Not even a day after the new, Magnus-less Carey reappeared, Johann announced that he was leaving.

“I just feel as though the spark isn’t there anymore,” he told her over breakfast. “My band needs me, and as much as I love you, I love my band more. I hope you understand.”

“Of course,” Carey said after a beat of silence. “Whatever makes you most comfortable, Johann. Thank you for sharing this time with me.”

He blinked, obviously not expecting her to go with it so easily. Taako could tell that whatever happened at Magnus’ had pushed Carey from ‘pretending’ to straight-up bullshitting. She was gonna act her way through this show without a single emotional attachment to anything that happened with the suitors. Taako, frankly, was loving it. This new Carey sure made things much more interesting.

“Oh. Okay, then. Goodbye.”

“Goodbye, Johann. I wish you well,” she said, and that was the end of that. Johann’s bags were packed up within an hour, and he was gone.

That just left Taako and Kravitz. And the next episode to be filmed was the Fantasy Suites.

Which suddenly occurred to Taako as Davenport entered, holding a red envelope. 

“The date card,” Taako said. “Wonder where we’re headed this week.”

\--

Neverwinter. That’s where they were headed. Carey apparently hadn’t had a chance to visit the big city before, and seemed very excited to be there. The first day was a two-on-one date. Carey took both Kravitz and Taako to a professional wrestling match. Taako enjoyed himself more than he thought he would, if he was honest. Kravitz split his time by trying to act offended by the extreme violence of the sport and also getting _way_ too into it. He and Carey both had the same favorite fighter, a mountain of a woman named Jess the Beheader. Wresting wasn’t something Taako sought out in his free time, but he could definitely appreciate the theatrics—and extremely fit men—it provided.

After the match, they went back to a lavish hotel, getting drunk on wine and hanging out in the pool until the early hours of the morning.

The Carey that had returned from Magnus’ was much more genuine with the two men, friendly instead of flirtatious. Taako felt himself naturally being more open with her. Kravitz, as always, was the very picture of a gentleman, leaving the other two to laugh at him and make raunchy jokes to see him blush.

Kravitz was sitting at the edge of the pool, legs dangling in the water as they talked. Taako, a little too drunk to keep swimming, grabbed Kravitz’s legs and hauled himself up until he was perched in his lap. Kravitz wrapped an arm loosely around Taako’s hips to keep him in place.

“Hey, stranger,” Taako said. Kravitz raised his eyebrows.

“Hey yourself. What are you doing?”

Taako shrugged. Kravitz accepted that as an answer. His fingers found their way to Taako’s hair, playing with it and idly scratching his scalp. Taako melted. “Oh, baby, please don’t ever stop doing that,” he groaned.

“Why don’t you do that for me, Krav?” Carey asked teasingly. She ran her hand through her short-cropped hair. “Oh, wait, I remember.”

“Care,” Taako said. “Cares. Carey. Carey, hon, I know we’re good friends and everything, but I am _so_ fucking ready to be done with this show. I don’t even fucking care about getting Sizzle It Up back. I am done—100%, _retire-endo_ —with show biz. Count me out. Let’s wrap this sucker up already.”

“I’m with you. God, you have no clue how much I’m with you,” Carey said. She tipped back the bottle, chasing down the last few sips. “I’m tired,” she announced, and stood up, only swaying a little on her feet.

“See you boys bright and early tomorrow. Well, see you _boy._ Taako, me and you are going on a solo date.”

“You got it babe,” Taako said, yawning. “Whatever you want. Unless we’re going to watch wresting again, in which case, Taako’s good out here.”

Carey raised the empty wine bottle in acknowledgment as she left the pool area. Taako giggled.

“What’s so funny?” Kravitz asked. 

“Taako’s good out here,” Taako said. “It sounds—funny, I guess.”

“If Taako’s good out here, then Kravitz is good with Taako,” Kravitz replied, scooting back from the pool’s edge and pushing Taako gently off his lap. He stretched out on the fake turf and pulled Taako’s warm body to drape over his. “Goodnight, love,” he said. He was asleep within a minute, snoring gently. Taako rolled his eyes and managed to pull himself to his feet. Kravitz woke up just enough to stagger back inside the hotel and pass out on Taako’s bed. And if Killian came to wake Taako the next morning and found him pressed against Kravitz’s side, his hand splayed across Kravitz’s chest, well, she certainly had no plans to tell anyone.

\--

Carey and Taako enjoyed a completely pleasant, unremarkable date the next day. They were both a little bit hungover, but they each put on a smile and a pair of sunglasses for a day of sightseeing and fine dining. The only remarkable thing to come of the date was the key cards to the hotel that night when they returned. A note beside the singular key card told the two that if they should choose for forgo their separate rooms for the night, a single room would be provided for them.

“You know how this works, right, Taako?” Carey asked. She held up the card. “No cameras for the whole night. What do you say?”

Something like distress crossed Taako’s face, just a flash of uncertainty. After a few seconds of indecision, he shrugged.

“Why the hell not, darling,” he said cheerfully, taking the card with a flourish. The camera followed them to the suite. They filmed a few shots of them entering the room, getting settled in the room, and a silly shot of them opening a bottle of champagne and making a mess trying to pour it neatly. Then Lucretia shooed the rest of the crew out, leaving just the three of them.

“We aren’t kidding about this,” she said. “Just to reiterate, no cameras from now until daybreak. No mics, either. I’ve tried to give all the contestants their privacy as much as possible in the past” —Carey nodded her silent thanks at the director— “and that continues here. We will have to shoot some post-suite scenes in the morning, but you will have ample warning before we return. Any questions?”

“Yeah, ‘Cretia, uh, what would you do if we ordered like, two hundred dollars of room service?”

“I would take it out of your paycheck, Taako. Anything else?”

Taako pouted dramatically but didn’t say anything else.

“I think we’re good. Thanks, Lucretia,” Carey said. As soon as the door closed behind her, Carey’s shoulders relaxed. She sprawled out on the bed with a happy sigh. 

“Thank god,” she murmured. She held out her hand for a glass of champagne, wiggling her fingers expectantly.

Taako handed over a flute cautiously. “So. What happens now?” he asked.

“Now,” Carey said. “I’m going to eat two hundred dollars of room service and pass out for twelve glorious, uninterrupted hours.”

She sat up. “But first, I guess we should talk business.”

“Business?” Taako repeated.

Carey nodded. “Taako, I want you to propose to me.”

Taako coughed, spitting out a mouthful of his fancy champagne. “Pump the fucking brakes, _what?_ ”

“I want you to propose to me,” Carey repeated. 

Taako continued to stare at her. “Honey, I hate to break this to you, but I’m like, _super_ fucking gay.”

“No shit. I saw you and Kravitz last night. And listen, me and Magnus had this whole _thing_ planned out, okay? But he’s not here anymore, so I can’t bank on him to bail me out. And as much as I like Kravitz as a person, I don’t want him to _propose_ to me. I just want to get this show over with and break up with you as soon as possible so I can live my _fucking life,_ okay? I’d rather marry Killian than either of you two, but I _fucking can’t_ while I’m stuck on this _goddamn show!”_

Taako, having abandoned his champagne, stepped closer to Carey. Finally free of cameras, she felt the pressure of the last few weeks, last few months, finally overflow. Since the day she realized Magnus didn’t deserve to be miserable pretending to be in love, she realized that she didn’t either. 

Before that revelation, Killian had been important, yes, a wishful _someday_ and a hopeful tomorrow. But Killian was more than that—she was a part of Carey’s life _right now._ Not someone to push aside for a few months from now when it was convenient. Killian was the one Carey wished was in this room with her. 

And now that she didn’t have the threat of an audience of thousands hanging over her shoulder, she let all that frustration out.

“I hate this show so much! I never wanted to be here, I never wanted this at all! I thought I could make it through, I needed the money bad enough I thought I could act my way through. But then I met Killian and everything got _so_ much better and so much _harder_. All I want is to be with her, away from cameras and crews and makeup artists and everyone telling me how to act and who to talk to and what to say! Killian is my fucking girlfriend and I can’t even hold her hand or the game is up! It _sucks!”_

She sat down heavily on the floor, a yell of anger suppressed into a loud grunt, dropping her head into her hands. After a few moments of silence, she felt Taako’s hand on her arm. 

“Hey,” he said. He cleared his throat. “So…That was a little unexpended, I’ll admit, but like…I get it. I’m gay, you’re gay, we’re both gay and stuck here playing out this hetero nonsense. I—” He paused, face scrunching in search of words. “I know I’m not the kind of good person Maggie is, and I know I’m not the kind of friend he is, but I can be a poor substitute. If you want someone in your corner, I’m fucking there, man. I’ll woo you like the most disney of princes. I’ll propose to you like we’re in a goddamn movie. I’ll break up with you dramatically and on live TV if that’s your plan. Hell, I’ll even help you skip town with Killian this very night if you want.”

Carey couldn’t help an amused huff of laughter. “Yeah? How are you gonna do that?”

“Hon, I am ready to flee the country at any moment. I keep a credit card shredder in my purse. I got connections,” he said, grandiose and ridiculous. Carey uncurled herself from her ball a little to look at him appraisingly.

“I kinda understand why Magnus keeps you around.”

“I’m more than just a pretty face, ain’t I?”

Taako offered her his hand. “Come on. We should probably talk about this.”

They settled on the bed. Taako poured them each a fresh flute of champagne and said, “God I am _so_ relieved that you brought me in here to scheme, though. I mean, I know you’re a lesbian but I was worried you didn’t know that _I_ knew. I thought we’d have to do the awkward ‘hey-I’m-gay-and-so-are-you’ talk.”

Carey snorted. “No way. Sorry if I gave you a heart attack, but this was our one chance to talk without risking being overheard. I’m glad you trusted me enough to join me.” 

She took a bracing sip of her champagne. “Taako, before we get to that, I just want to say. If at any time or for any reason you want to back out of this deal, you can. Okay? I won’t blame you in the least if you do. I gave that choice to Magnus, but he was too stubborn to make it when he needed to, so I made it for him. Don’t make me do the same for you.”

“Doesn’t seem fair that I have a get-out-of-jail-free card and you don’t,” Taako remarked.

“Well, I knew what I was getting into,” Carey said. “And you really didn’t. Besides, I can call it off, too. The bachelorette doesn’t have to accept a proposal or even get proposed to at all.”

“I suppose so. Well, we both have escape routes. Now what?”

“Alright,” Carey said. “Now we talk about how we’re gonna pull off the biggest reality television scandal this network has ever seen.”

\--

The biggest television scandal this network had ever seen entailed, unfortunately, pulling more people in on the secret than either of them would have liked. The plan, as it stood, was that Taako would fill Kravitz in on everything sometime before the proposal scene, propose to Carey, and break up with her soon after. Both couples would reunite off-camera and live their lives in relative peace until they inevitably got dragged into another Bachelorette-adjacent program.

Carey and Taako called Lucretia in the next morning for a very awkward heart-to-heart. They brought her in on the plan mostly because she would be able to expedite the process of the breakup and filming said breakup’s special episode. She took it was surprising ease. She thanked them for giving her enough advance notice to make plans, and promised she’d do everything she could to keep the secrets under wraps until the show aired. After all, that kind of twist would pull in a lot of viewer interest, but it would be useless to them if the secret got out before the premiere. 

The newly adjusted schedule meant that they wouldn’t have to fill the episode they were missing thanks to Johann’s self-elimination, and could continue on with the rest of the season as planned—the only thing left to film was the final rose.

\--

Carey gave Taako and Kravitz her fantasy suite to talk the next night, opting instead to stay in Killian’s room—an arrangement that suited both couples. 

Kravitz was waiting in the fantasy suites, sitting stock-still and very stiff on the bed. The door cracked open and Taako slipped inside. The tension in Kravitz’s shoulders fell away, and in a whisper he said, “What are you doing here? Where is Carey?”

Taako leaned against the closed door, gazing down at his shoes. “Carey gave us the room for the night. Can we talk?”

“Oh. Uh, yeah, of course,” Kravitz said, frowning in confusion. He gestured next to him on the bed. Taako came over and curled up against his side. Kravitz put his arm around Taako’s waist, waiting for him to gather his thoughts. 

He reached up to cup Kravitz’s face in his hand. Kravitz leaned into the touch, turning his head to kiss Taako’s palm.

“Krav, this last month with you has been—it’s been the best month of my life. I sure as hell didn’t except to end up here, with you, but I’m so happy that I did.”

“Me too,” Kravitz said. The way he smiled at Taako, so gentle and open made Taako’s breath catch.

“Kravitz…” he said.

“Hmm, what is it?”

Taako hesitated. He brushed a hand against Kravitz’s cheek, catching the edge of his lip with his thumb. There was no easy way to tell one’s boyfriend that he was going to ask someone else to marry him. So he started with, “You know that, whatever happens with Carey, with the proposal and the show and all, it’s all just an act, right?”

“Of course I know that,” Kravitz said, looking at Taako strangely. 

“I just wanted to make sure. This,” he gestured to indicate the situation in general, “this is all an act, but you, us. We’re real. Remember that, okay?”

“Wait,” Kravitz said. “What are you saying? Are—are you going to actually propose to her? I thought—what?”

“There’s…well, there’s a plan. And it involves me proposing to Carey. For a while.”

“What,” Kravitz said flatly.

“I’m sorry, baby. I wish I didn’t have to. But if I don’t…it’ll be for the best if I do. For everyone.”

“The best for everyone? What about me?”

Kravitz dropped Taako’s hand, pushing himself off the bed and pacing around the small room. He dragged a hand through his hair, agitated, coming face-to-face with Taako again.

“How the hell is this is the _best?_ Do you think it’ll be _best_ for _me_ to stand there and watch the man I love propose to a woman he doesn’t?”

“I—you love me?” Taako asked, shocked. It obviously wasn’t the point Kravitz was making, but it was all he could focus on. It felt like he’d had the wind knocked out of him. 

_He loves me._

“Of course I do, Taako! Maybe it’s just this show trying to shove love down our throats and maybe this isn’t the right time but I—”

“I love you too!” Taako burst out. He laughed, bright and goofy. “God, Krav, I love you too, I just—”

He grabbed Kravitz and pulled him for a hard kiss. “I’m sorry, baby, I didn’t want to upset you. I love you and I wish I didn’t have to go and propose to Carey, but listen, it’s just an act with her, we’re gonna break up in like two months,” he babbled. “We have it all planned out, and she’s gonna get hitched to Kills and get the fuck away from here, and we can be together again, and—”

Kravitz put a thumb on Taako’s cheek, stroking it gently and effectively shutting him up. He didn’t look very upset anymore, just confused as hell. Which was something Taako could work with.

“Slow down,” he said. “From the top. Why are you proposing to Carey?”

“She asked me to. Strictly platonically. We planned it out last night during the fantasy suite, confirmed it with Lucretia this morning. We’ll put on a show for a few months, have a nasty public breakup, she and—um, someone will elope, I run back to my knight in shining armor, we all live happily ever after. Capisce, _mon cherie?”_

Taako could see the gears in Kravitz’s head turning. He continued to stroke Taako’s cheek, seemingly without thinking. Taako watched him think, hardly able to contain the bright flutter of joy in his chest— _he loves me_ —but unwilling to rush him.

“Okay,” Kravitz said slowly. “Okay, that makes sense. Kind of.”

“So you’re alright with it?”

Kravitz sighed. “I’m only human—I already know it’s going to be hard to watch. But I trust you. And at the end of the day, you’re my boyfriend, not hers. So yes. I’m alright with it.”

Taako’s shoulders slumped with relief. “Thank. God. This was the scariest part of the whole thing, you know? Not telling Lucretia about this dumbass plan or hiding our relationship. That stuff was easy. Thinking I was gonna hurt you with this whole harebrained scheme? That was scary. I almost didn’t go through with it. I had this kickass letter written explaining the whole thing for after all the shit went down. It was gonna be fuckin’ dramatic as hell. But I guess that was a coward move. Besides…if you got really pissed off at this dumb ass stunt, at least that way I wouldn’t have to be broken up with in person, right?”

He smiled awkwardly, feeling more vulnerable than he had when he told Kravitz he loved him. Kravitz’s eyes softened immediately.

“Oh, no, my love, I wouldn’t…of course I would be upset, but I wouldn’t have broken upwith you.”

“Because you love me?” Taako asked, a little unsure. The idea that someone like Kravitz would love him was—it was unbelievable. Sleep with him, yeah, sure. Make out and date casually-secretly, why not? But love him? Never. That didn’t happen to people like Taako. Handsome, clever, good-hearted men didn’t love arrogant assholes like Taako.

Except, apparently, this one did. Because he took Taako’s face in his hands and leaned down to press their foreheads together.

“I do love you, Taako,” he said.

“I love you too. And…I’m sorry. About this whole situation. I wish it didn’t have to be like this. God, I’d so much rather propose to you. But that _would_ pretty much ruin the show,” he chuckled softly. “That kind of drama, though? It might be some damn good TV.”

Kravitz laughed as well. “It would be something.”

\--

Once everyone was caught up with the plan, all that was left to do was keep up appearances. Act like this was a normal season.

Which was how Taako and Kravitz found themselves standing in the fanciest jewelry shop Lucretia could scrape up, two days after the fantasy suites. No crew, no director, no cameras. Everyone was prepping for the final rose ceremony and the last dates, leaving the two contestants to their own devices. The plan, Lucretia told them, was to film another scene of the two candidates picking out rings from a much smaller pool the morning of the proposal, with the rings they’d already chosen planted in the collection.

Taako stuffed his hands in the pockets of his purple romper to quell the urge to touch anything. (Unbeknownst to him, while visiting Lup, she’d swapped his boring TV clothes with his preferred clothes—skirts and rompers and dresses and overalls and not a button down shirt in sight. Taako texted her a string of hearts, explosions, and sparkles once he was back on set, to which she responded, _i kno ur getting some already but he hasn’t seen u in a flirty-length skirt yet_ and a set of prayer hand emojis).

Kravitz whistled under his breath. “I’ve never seen this many rings before.”

“Me either,” Taako said. He eyed a shelf of platinum rings inlaid with dark amethyst stones. They would look _killer_ with his skin tone and—he shook his head. Right, rings. For Carey. That was the plan.

He turned his attention to a row of silver rings before shaking his head and moving on to gold. Taako would be the first to admit that his taste in rings ran more flashy than something someone like Carey would appreciate.

He noticed Kravitz lingering over a particular ring. He kept picking it up to examine and returning it to the velvet square. As Kravitz heaved a quiet sigh and walked across the room to look at some rose gold rings, Taako strolled over to the ring that had captured his attention and scooped it up. The ring was gorgeous—shining cobalt, intricately carved. Nothing near the kind of flashy, sparkly engagement rings usually seen on _The Bachelorette_ , but still breathtaking in its own right. Taako turned the heavy ring over in his hand—and saw the price tag.

“Jesus!” he yelped. 

Kravitz was at his side in an instant. “What is it, love?”

Taako brandished the ring. “This fucking thing is sixty-five thousand dollars!” 

Kravitz scrunched his nose. “I know, I saw. It is stunning, though.”

“Yeah, but like, that’s the price of my kidney, my dude. Dunno about you, but no way can I shell out that kinda money. Are they all this expensive?”

The jeweler, looking unimpressed, said, “the candidates don’t have to pay for the rings. The studio takes care of that.”

“Oh, chill,” Taako said. He took back the ring, considering. The jeweler continued, “Whomever does not propose or who is rejected will have to return the ring. And if the couple breaks up, they will have to return it as well.”

Taako frowned, putting the ring back on the little square of black velvet. “Oh, well, it’s not her style anyway.”

But his eyes kept straying back to it as he looked at all the other rings, as did Kravitz’s. Finally, as Kravitz was picking out a box for his newly-purchased ring, Taako snatched the cobalt ring up, hiding it in his palm. He sidled up to the salesman and made his ‘purchase’ on the studio’s credit card. He picked the first box he saw, nesting the ring safely inside, and snapped it closed.

“What ring did you pick?” Kravitz asked. 

Taako shrugged. “Something pretty with a shit-load of diamonds. You know, a ring. How about you?”

Kravitz opened his black velvet box to display a gold band with small diamonds studded across it and a larger vaguely rose-colored diamond in the center. Taako nodded. “It looks perfect for Carey,” he said. “Gorgeous.”

Kravitz slipped an arm around his waist, drawing him closer.

“Not as gorgeous as you, darling.”

Taako bumped their hips. “Oh, you flatterer.”

The jeweler let out a long-suffering sigh, obviously tired of watching _The Bachelorette_ finalists flirt in his ring shop.


	6. The Final Rose

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> hi! this is it! we've reached the end! thanks to everyone who has stuck around so far, and i hope you enjoy!

The next week was occupied with the filming leading up to the proposals. Carey didn’t really have a preference as to where they went for it, so Lucretia picked a small but charming town in the mountains, somewhere picturesque and private. Carey saw her family for the first time in months. 

It was a weird reunion—she loved her family, but there had always been at least some level of tension between them. Carey had tried to come out when she was in high school, and her family had basically ignored it until she went quietly back into the closet. In college, she had finally been free to be herself. She was out and proud, secure and happy in her identity, until an accident on the mats ended her gymnast career her junior year. She returned home to recover, and found that her family was still staunchly ignoring her sexuality. It had been five years since then—despite going back to college, and even bringing home a girlfriend once, that denial had still remained. She moved back home after college while she found something to do with her dance/philosophy double major. All she wanted was to leave her family’s closed-mindedness behind and recapture that freedom of living alone again.

So the air between them was very uncomfortable, especially with so many cameras recording every second of their interaction. 

Both Taako and Kravitz visited her family that week, one at a time. Her mother was not at all impressed with Taako, but completely taken with Kravitz. Her father was unimpressed with both.

Neither man asked her father for permission to propose to her, which was a relief to Carey. In fact, her father had asked Taako if he was planning on asking permission. He said loftily, “Well, I’m a very polite guy. I try to ask for permission before I take something that belongs to someone else. But Carey here sure as hell doesn’t belong to anyone but herself. So nah, I’m good. Thanks for asking though.”

Carey laughed into her glass of wine, watching her parent’s faces drop in surprise. Taako winked at her, which she returned with a smile. 

As the day of the proposal drew nearer, Carey’s mood dropped. She spent as much time as she could with Killian, trying to get as much time in before their inevitable separation after the show wrapped. Lucretia made up secondary non-disclosure agreements for the whole cast and crew because, at this point, Carey and Killian were both past the point of caring who knew they were together. Taako and Kravitz were in a similar boat. Both couples went on semi-impromptu double dates over that week, talking through contingency plans and what-ifs around their busy filming schedule. Carey was sure they’d been through every single possible outcome and still felt unprepared.

In a way, she was relieved when the morning of the proposal came around—at least after this, it would be over. 

Well, not really, because they’d still have to film the breakup special, the men tell all episode, and go on roughly a dozen talk shows. But at least she could have a break in between.

Lucretia found a small river in a pretty wooded area near the huge cabin they’d been staying in. It was a perfect spot to film in. Natural light filtered through the trees and the stream was beautiful and just quiet enough that it wouldn’t interfere with sound quality. The crew set up quickly, clearing branches off the grass, while Carey fiddled nervously with the hem of her dress. Killian pressed a kiss to the side of her head. “Good luck, sweetheart. I love you,” she said quietly. 

“I love you too,” Carey said, and then Lucretia nodded at them both. Killian dutifully went to her camera.

Carey walked down the artificially created path to the clearing by the river. In her head, she recited the words she’d already recorded for the voice-over segment.

_I didn’t really know what to expect going into this proposal. I didn’t know who was going to go down on one knee, but I knew exactly who I wanted to._

Kravitz came down the path as soon as she had gotten settled. They hugged briefly. 

“Ready for this?” Kravitz whispered.

“As ready as I’ll ever be,” she whispered back. They pulled apart. Kravitz smoothed down his tie nervously. He nodded, just a quick jerk of the chin. It was a tricky line to tread, trying to say what the audience wanted to hear while also telling one of her dear friends how she actually felt. 

Carey said, “Kravitz, I just want you to know that you’re one of my best friends. I’m so glad you were here, and I’m glad you made it all the way to the end. But I can’t offer you my final rose. I’m sorry.”

Kravitz took the dismissal with practiced grace, just the right amount of disappointment and surprise to make it look authentic. 

“Thank you,” he said gravely. “This was one of the best experiences of my life. I met some of the best people I’ll ever meet, and a love I will keep with me forever. I wish you the best from here on out, my dear.”

“You too,” Carey said. Kravitz gave her another hug and a quick kiss on the cheek, and left. Killian’s camera followed his exit, while another watched Carey. Saying goodbye to Kravitz was actually much harder than she thought it would be. She hoped they would be able to stay in contact after this whole show had blown over. Losing track of him—and Taako—seemed unthinkable. And Lucretia, who was more understanding and compromising than any human should be. Angus, who was a like a little brother to her. Everyone else on the crew, Davenport the host, and all the people she’d met along the way. Barry and Johann. Lup. Magnus, who she hadn’t spoken to since hometowns. All of them.

As terrible and phony as this show was, at its core was a group of amazing, caring, funny, genuine people. People she would miss.

Carey didn’t have to fake the tears in her eyes as she watched Kravitz’s retreating form. It took a few minutes to regain her composure, but she managed to hold it together. There would be time for a proper cry later, but before then she had a show to finish. 

Taako’s entrance almost had her in tears again. She hugged him right away.

“Well, Taako, here we are. Did you think you’d ever be standing here?” she said. Taako’s hand darted out to touch under her watery eyes. He gave her a crooked smile.

“Not in a million years, babe. You know, Carey, when I came on this show, it wasn’t for the right reasons.” 

He turned to address the camera briefly.

“And Bluejeans, if you’re watching, you better not get a big head because you were right about one thing for once in your life.” 

He took Carey’s hand, playful attitude falling away.

“I didn’t come here planning to fall in love. Hell, I didn’t even come here with the intention of making friends. But, somehow, I managed to do both. See, the thing is I never thought of myself as a guy who _could_ find love. I didn’t think I could ever find someone who put up with me long enough to fall in love. And I have, and that’s so…it’s something I never thought I’d be able to experience. It’s something I will never let go of. And that’s why—”

He paused, biting his lip. 

“That’s why…I can’t propose to you, Carey. I’m so sorry.”

He dropped her hand and took a deep breath. “Kravitz!” he called. 

There was silence for two seconds, three. And then from a few feet beyond the cameras, Kravitz appeared. 

“Taako, what’s going on?” he asked, concerned. Taako practically ran over to grab his hand. Carey watched in shocked silence as he dragged Kravitz into the clearing. He took both of Kravitz’s hands in his own and said,“Krav, you told me you came on this show because you were worried about your life being too boring. Well, darling, how’s this for excitement?” 

He pulled a velvet box from his pocket and went down on one knee.

“Will you marry me?”

“I—” Kravitz said. “Taako, are you serious?”

“Hell yeah I am, Krav! I know there was a plan, but you know what? I don’t fucking care. I love you and I want to marry you.”

He popped the ring box open. It held a beautifully carved engagement ring made of a silvery-blue metal. The ring seemed to mean something to Kravitz, because his eyes snapped to Taako’s face. 

“You didn’t,” he whispered.

“I did,” Taako replied smugly. “I’ve been waiting to propose since we went ring shopping. Seeing all those rings, I realized how much I wanted to go ring shopping for _you._ I’ve always been an all-or-nothing kind of guy, and my dude, I am _all_ kinds of crazy for you. So what do you say? Will you marry me?”

“Yes,” Kravitz said firmly, without even a second of hesitation. He pulled Taako to both feet and kissed him just as firmly. “Yes, of course I will marry you.”

Taako laughed in relief, wrapping his arms around Kravitz’s waist and kissing him again. 

“Thank god. I thought I was about to look like the biggest tool in the history of reality television.”

They broke apart, both laughing breathlessly. Taako grabbed Kravitz’s hand, his own shaking, and slipped the ring onto it. They rested their foreheads together, both looking down at their intertwined hands, the cobalt ring shining proudly against Kravitz’s skin. Without ever taking his eyes of his fiancé, Taako said, “Carey, I’m sorry for ruining the plan.”

“Fuck the plan,” Carey said. She could barely contain her delighted laugh. “And thank you, Taako. Because now I can say fuck the plan, too.”

She turned and strode confidently to Killian’s side. One of the other cameras followed her there. Killian, startled, looked between Carey and Lucretia. Lucretia made no effort to intervene, lifting one hand in a ‘go ahead’ gesture.

The first thing Carey did was take Killian’s hand and lean their foreheads together. Quietly, she asked, “are you okay with this? We don’t have to do this on-camera.”

“It’s okay,” Killian whispered back. “I trust you.”

Carey smiled gratefully and brought Killian’s knuckles to her lips to kiss them quickly. She hooked a thumb under the collar of her dress and pulled out a ring hanging from a fine silver chain.

“I know you beat me to the punch yesterday, but I wanted to ask you too. Killian, you turned this show from the worst experience of my life to the single best that’s ever happened to me. You’re the best person I know—selfless enough to hide our relationship for so long, kind enough to watch me make pretend with all these other people, and gorgeous enough to take my breath away every time I see you. Our stolen moments felt like pieces of daydreams, snatched seconds of a better life. All I want is to live that better life with you, for the rest of _our_ lives.”

Both she and Killian were crying by the time she managed to take the necklace off and present it to her.

“You asked me for my answer yesterday, and that answer is _yes, always._ What about you? Will _you_ marry _me_?”

Killian nodded, one hand pressed against her mouth. “God, yes.”

And then, for the first time ever, Carey kissed her girlfriend—her fiancée—in clear view of everyone around her. 

It felt like freedom. It felt like joy. Most of all, it felt like love.

—

The filmed a few more scenes after that, mostly just the two couples walking down the bank of the river as the sun set. Carey was sure they would record some voice overs to cover the footage later, but for now she was content to remember that she was done with _The Bachelorette_. She was done with hiding and waiting and acting. She had Killian, now and forever. Not a secret anymore, or ever again. The final rose pinned to Killian's lapel was proof enough of that.

“I love you,” she told Killian.

Instead of answering in words, Killian kissed her. Carey could feel her reply against her lips. 

“Hey lovebirds!” Taako shouted, startling them apart. “You know what this means?”

“What?” Carey shouted back.

“Double wedding!”

Carey threw her head back and laughed, carefree and so impossibly happy.

“You’ll have to fight me for the right to have Magnus as your best man.”

“Oh, honey, I would say ‘bring it’ but your _super_ buff wife could probably beat me up, so you know what? Keep him.”

They both laughed. Kravitz pulled Taako into a kiss, seemingly just because, effectively distracting him. At her side, Killian squeezed her hand and said, “‘Your wife’. Sounds good, doesn’t it?”

“It does. Good thing too, because that’s what I’ll be calling you for the rest of our lives.”

“I can’t wait,” Killian said. And as Killian kissed her, the sunset just starting to fade into the night sky, Carey agreed wholeheartedly.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> i'm sadhipstercat on tumblr, come talk to me about these good sweet boys and girls. thanks!

**Author's Note:**

> i'm sadhipstercat on tumblr, come chat!


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